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How did you know you were ready for a relationship?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Jax12, Jun 2, 2015.

  1. Jax12

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    So I told my boyfriend that I needed some time to think about what I want in a relationship, so with that said we put our realtionship on hold (basically a breakup). I took a risk by dating him, because he was right about taking chances: if you try, then you'll know; if you don't try, you'll never know.

    I hurt a lot. It was the first time I've wanted something more than just sex. I did not want to leave him.

    I realize now that I'm not exactly ready for a relationship (as much as I want one).

    How do you know when you're ready for one?
     
  2. idefygravity

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    Obviously I'm not that old and experienced with having tons of relationships. However, I think that, to some degree, you just know. When you reach a point of your life where you have some stability in your life, it's easier to have one. However, being ready for one all depends on the person. And sometimes, certain people make you feel like you're ready for one.

    I know that really doesn't help, but those are just my thoughts on it.
     
  3. mangotree

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    I don't think anyone's ever "ready" for a relationship.

    You either meet someone and think "yeah, I would willingly and drastically change my life to be with this person" or "no, there's not enough chemistry to warrant changing my life around to fit them into it".
     
  4. Aspen

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    I didn't know. In fact, I hadn't dated anyone for two years and was planning to just focus on my schoolwork and worrying about dating after I graduated. When my girlfriend asked me out, I knew I wanted to try. In some ways I think if I waited to be ready, I never would be.

    If what you need is to work on yourself and what you want inside and outside of a relationship, then that's what's best for you.
     
  5. Gandee

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    That I can be happy without a relationship. That's how I know I'm ready for one.
     
  6. Lyana

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    ^ This. So much this.

    You have to be comfortable with yourself and in a healthy state of mind before you can be comfortable with someone else and in a healthy relationship with them.
     
  7. Sek

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    Gandalf's answer is hitting the nail on the head. If you know you can handle a relationship not working out, you're ready for one.
     
  8. Jax12

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    Very true. I will always keep this in mind.
     
  9. Straight ally

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    But how do you escape the catcht 22?

    I have never been in a relationship, this makes me desire a relationship more.
     
  10. Jax12

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    ^ yeah I didn't get into my first relationship until I was 18, but up until that point I didn't have the desire to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. In high school, I saw all the people dating and whatnot, but I just had no interest in it. I think in that sense, I was already happy enough on my own.
     
  11. Gandee

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    Trust me, I desire a relationship very very much. I want to have someone to share my life with and they share their life with me as well.

    At the same time, I also desire personal freedom and personal growth. I have my own aspirations and goals to reach. I can fulfill my emotional needs thanks to close friends and family.

    The key here is balance between the two. Leaning toward too much the former and you'll become a needy person, too much of the latter and you'll be unapproachable.

    Gemini's logic beats catch-22~