...it comes down to this. My sister is generally supportive of my situation, and while she doesn't really understand entirely what it is I've been experiencing as a transgender person, she's been doing her best to try. She doesn't call me her brother, and she doesn't use my preferred name, but that's due to two factors: she's the only one in my family to know about me, and until today, I didn't tell her I've been going socially by another name. Both of my parents are pretty far behind the curve when it comes to anything LGBT. But the real negative impact here is that my dad, having worked in the psychology field, thinks he has a grasp on things - not taking into account that he worked with queer patients in the 80's, when "transgender" wasn't even a word. Because he thinks he knows things, he's not quick to open up and learn new things. Almost as bad, my mom is the sort of person to bottle her real feelings away until she gets passive aggressive and snappy, so there's no way of knowing if she's truly ok with things, or if she's just putting up a front. After talking with my sister earlier, we brought up a few points in my coming out process. 1, this conversation isn't the easiest one to have. Especially when our parents don't seem up to date on queer topics. 2, they're not likely to handle this gracefully, no matter what I do. And 3, they're likely to point fingers at my girlfriend for my self-discovery before they'll believe I independently figured out I was trans. If they decide it was an independent discovery at all. Since they have a habit of pointing fingers at other people when I do things they wouldn't choose for me instead of realizing that the reason I find these people is because of the similar interests or experiences we have. [Note: I am currently in a relationship with a wonderful woman who happens to also be transgender. We met at an LGBT thing, and really hit it off. Because she's the first trans person my parents know, I think the risk of them deciding that she somehow made me trans is high, and I am really concerned that they won't take my confessions of years of questioning followed by more years of closeted frustration seriously.] Now the question is, how to proceed... I'm almost entirely socially out. My girlfriend has never known me by my birth name, my friends all know my preferred name, and while I'm not out at work, I'm starting a new job soon where I already introduced myself with my preferred name and am open about being trans. In the fall I'll be returning to school, and I have every intention of being out on campus, and informing my professors ahead of time that I prefer another name. How soon do I try to tell my parents? I've been trying and failing to speak up for two or three years now. Should I proceed with breaking down the closet door socially [as if I'm not going to...]?
