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puzzled that what I should do after coming out to a friend I like

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by edmndinwind, Jun 5, 2015.

  1. edmndinwind

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    all right, being a newbie to this forum I guess I've put my story in the wrong section. So I post here instead.

    He and I know each other for a year now, we worked together, and quarrel one to two times that no other people had ever done with him. I asked most friend who knows him and most people believe he didn't do anything to define he is in girls or boys....he even told me he don't know anything about "girls","is she hot" or "how's the relationship with her?" so he won't talk anything about it. That's why I start thinking if he "can't be straight"

    , and 2 weeks ago I think I'm done with being patient and I tried to tell him I am attracted to him, but I didn't say "I'm not straight" or "I am bi/homo" whatever....

    His answer was : "Don't be so long-winded"

    I said : "you're the only human that is beautiful to me"

    He answered with same answer, again

    I was stucked in what he meant "long-winded" and I suddenly hugged him. He didn't push or showing any signs of denial, his face seemed to me that "I know what's gonna happen and I'm ok". The hug lasted for 3 seconds, he tapped my shoulder with his right hand just like comforting a baby or crying friend. He stepped back, I asked why and he said "all right, all right, enough for the hug". He explained he is okay with these but doesn't mean I can keep going to step in "his private space" (I think he was referring to comfort zone)

    I travelled to Australia for a whole week without any contact with him, when we were meet back again in our hometown I personally gave him a souvenir that is something related to his favourite musical in his childhood. He looked at that and said "Oh......" (an Oh that sounds like "Ah it's about that thing, a souvenir to me....) and thanked me of course.

    So I am extremely confused. He's sending different signals to me, but he'd never said anything about "I am not homo" or "let's just be friends" or showing anything he's denying of me. We can keep going out as usual, but anything I can do to let him understand it's not that awful or uncomfortable to be so "close"?

    I like him. I noticed something that he's into me but he still don't know it's an attraction not simply a friend. He'd even felt shy when he tried to imitate my ways to doing things (because other people laughed at him once they know he's copying my idea).

    PS: this is second month that I masturbate with pics about him, not anyone else. I know I maybe a pervert....:icon_sad:

    ---------- Post added 5th Jun 2015 at 04:16 PM ----------

    update:

    I like him even he got many things I am not happy with. I noticed something that he's into me but he still don't know it's an attraction not simply a friend. He'd even felt shy when he tried to imitate my ways to doing things (because other people laughed at him once they know he's copying my idea). But when some of my friends questioning I may misinterpret "like him as a friend" and "liking him" I just can't accept it. sometimes I hope I am dreaming and I could not liking him in this way, it may cost less trouble. But....my mind keep thinking about him non-stop. I hope there's somebody around here have similar situation and share something for guidance.
     
    #1 edmndinwind, Jun 5, 2015
    Last edited: Jun 5, 2015
  2. resu

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    Maybe you should be more obvious. "You're the only human that is beautiful to me" is sweet, but it's not the same as "I love you" or "I'm gay/bi/etc.". You will need to tell him you like him directly, and if he doesn't respond, you will have to assume he's either not interested or not ready. The main thing is not to get stuck waiting for his affection to be happy. You should look for other guys who are more comfortable with their sexualities and willing to return your love and affection.
     
  3. m e l v i n

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    yeah, have a friendly talk with him again :slight_smile: :'> maybe since you're still "questioning", tell him that you're still new to this feeling (if you indeed feel that way) and open up to him and explain what you actually feel, maybe he would be more open to you as well.. just talk about it with him, but be ready for whatever response you might get.. i wish you the best though :"> :slight_smile: good luck edm (*hug*)