Is this a normal or an abusive relationship?

Okay, honey, this is not normal. That is emotional abuse. Abuse does not have to be physical to be abuse. I've been there. And it never gets better. My ex-fiance actually escalated from emotional to physical. Personally, you need to get out! You're an amazing person and you do not deserve that. I would also suggest counseling to reboost your confidence because emotional abuse kills your self-confidence. It makes you think you deserve it.

If you talked to her about it and she refuses to stop, leave. To be honest, that is your best option. As I said, I've been there numerous times.

 

As kaotyc said above, this is emotional abuse, and very clearly so. No one in any relationship should tolerate this. What you have described contains all the classic elements.

I know it is easy to say just leave. But I also know there are rewards to staying, not the least of which is not being alone. I have endured a difficult marriage lasting almost 20 years, and I can tell you from personal experience that any hope of this getting better is erroneous, she will not get better and is more likely to get worse because she feels she can do what she wants.

Not being alone is NOT a reason to stay in an abusive relationship, you can do better, indeed you deserve better!

 

It usually starts with the little things, the slightly off-kilter stuff that we don't consider important when the relationship begins. We feel hurt by what they did, but are willing to set it aside for the sake of the relationship. What is really going on at that stage is that she was testing your boundaries, and, as you let more and more slide, she eventually gained enough confidence that she could get away with anything.

Set aside your anger, nothing good will come of that; just act, just get out, no questions, no excuses, just leave. Let her figure it out (hint: she'll know why).

Consider this to have been an important learning opportunity for your next relationship; the main lesson of all is to love yourself enough to set proper boundaries: decide in advance what you will and will not tolerate, always from a firm grounding in self-respect.

 

This is absolutely emotional abuse. Your girlfriend is very insecure.

 

This. You are dealing with someone dishonest, who will go great lenghts, including humilliating herself to win you back... So she can start again.

This behavious is very well documented, including on cemetaries, hospitals and the rest. The so called abuser (who is nothing but a poor bastard), will wait patiently, and will use all his energy to win each and every little battle. The whole thing can take years in some case, but the most common specimen won't like the waiting (believe it or not, he is afraid he could 'make a mistake'), so they'll rush you into a compromise which they'll disguise as a proof of how much they love you. The compromise is nothing but a way to gain moe control over you. It's usually living together, or etting married, sometimes even a common business. The main idea is to tie you up, so you won't run away that easily.

Alcohol mixed with anger, jealousy and hurtful remarks scalate over time. You'll become socially isolated and dependent on her, both emotionally and financially.

At some point you'll spend days trapped indoors, and one day you'll receive a push, then a kick, then a black eye and if you are still there, you will get hands on your throat, and she won't let you go until you have fainted. And then when you get back to the world of the living you'll have that person crying in front of you and asking your forgiveness. You are scared and know that if you don't want to get killed, you need to fake it. Of course you forgive her...

You don't want to het through this. The fear of getting killed by the person you trust and love the most is a feeling that you won't forget ever. It will follow you disguised as PST for months, and you'll have a scar for the rest of your days. You won't be able to trust anyone. You won't be able to enjoy ny relationship, 'cause misstrust will be always there.

Get out. You'll never change her. And if you are a thrill seeker like me (or at least I was at your age) feel free to explore things the safe way. Study them, read about them but don't get together with them,'cause you probably have heard that curiosity killed the cat.

Take good care, baby (*hug*)

 

You may feel like you bring these on and that everything is ultimately your fault but that's a dangerous relationship. I've never been physically abused but ive been broken down to the point of very little self confidence. I'm still dealing with it and probably will until I die. Don't stay. You're only hurting yourself.

 

Not normal. She has serious issues.

 

At 22 you are to young to stay in a relationship that is emotionally abusive. Out in this big world there is someone that will love you unconditionally for who you are and your wants.

I, at 21 years old was in your situation never believe that there was anyone else out there that would love me for me. Boy was I wrong not only have I found someone outside my abusive relationship but this woman loves me for my every being. It is rewarding to feel loved and to be in love.

I was with my ex for 8 long years til I realized that she was an abuser. I have currently been in my soul mates life for 17 great years this year and still going strong. You can do it, you have to get out of your present relationship to find someone that will love you for you!!!! Without abuse or control over you.

Good luck! You deserve much better!!!

 

Find a way to contact your parents. Stay with them while you work this out. If she threatens you, SAVE ANY TEXT AND EMAIL AND VOICEMAIL. Then you can use that to issue an order of protection.

I've been there and I know how they work. When I tried to leave my ex-girlfriend (when I thought I was into women), she downed a bottle of vodka and pills. Because it was her way of trying to keep me with her. This is after she cheated on me. She would also not let me have friends. She accused me of cheating on her, got possessive with me. Would blow up my phone with texts if I didn't answer. And she insulted my mother to her face. The her cheating was the last straw.

That was when she physically assaulted me. She was 5ft5, 160lbs. I'm 4ft11, 100lbs. She had me on the ground and was choking me. Luckily, I managed to fight back and got her off me. I locked myself in the bathroom, told her I was done. She started crying, saying she was so sorry. She tried to kill herself to guilt me into taking her back.

After her, I met a guy. I got engaged to him a few months later. And we moved in a bit after that. He was an alcoholic. And he lied to me about everything. He pushed me during a fight while we were on abandoned train tracks. My foot got stuck in between one of the rails and my ankle snapped. I have a hairline fracture in my ankle that never set properly because of him. And I have a messed up back because of him that will never heal. It took him cheating on me while I was in the hospital (because of him) for me to leave.