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New family with new unexplored questions...

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Greywolf149, Jun 6, 2015.

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  1. Greywolf149

    Greywolf149
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    Hello everyone,

    I'm a 58 year old straight, but LGBT friendly male who has a question about appropriateness. I fully admit that I have little experience with the gay community, so in some cases, my questions may seem trite or uninformed. But I'll let you be the judge of that. Here's the situation...

    I'm about ready to enter the lives of a new family. I'm very much in love with a woman my age who has a lovely lesbian daughter in a relationship with another sweet woman, and we'll all soon live in a new home together. We are all friends, and they've known from the start that I am their advocate when it comes to being treated fairly and without prejudice. My question has to do with appropriateness.

    The family is very loving - hugs and kisses are the norm and I find it very sweet and reminiscent of my own family. No wonder I fell in love with their matriarch... :slight_smile:. But lately, I've noticed that out of habit, when I hug the two daughters, I will almost always automatically kiss them on the side of the head as I would be prone to do with my own daughter (if I had one). It occurred to me recently, that I probably would not do that if the person was male. It's an affection that few straight men express to each other.

    Please realize that this is a sincere question that comes straight from my ignorance and inexperience, but would/do most lesbian women find that irritating or uncomfortable coming from a straight man? These young women are so sweet that they would *never* tell me if they are offended, nor would I want to embarrass them by making it a point to even ask. But I do not want to offend or make them uncomfortable in any way when expressing my sincere affection for both of them.

    So tell me, am I overthinking this, or are there serious points to consider here?
     
    #1 Greywolf149, Jun 6, 2015
  2. kaotyc

    kaotyc
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    I don't think so. But I would ask them. I mean, it's like you're doing what you would do to your own daughters. But I would also ask. Let them know you have come to consider them like daughters and don't want to make them uncomfortable.

    I mean, I was 10 when my mom met my stepdad. And I do consider my stepdad my dad. I call him my dad and treat him like that. He treats me like his daughter too. We hug and say "love you" when I leave to go back to my place. Like a biological dad and daughter would do.
     
    #2 kaotyc, Jun 6, 2015
  3. Greywolf149

    Greywolf149
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    Thank you for your quick reply - if I do ask them, I'll have to find a very subtle way of doing it. I don't wish to offend or to treat them 'differently' than I would a straight potential step daughter. Another difference between this, and you meeting your new step father at 10 years of age, is that both these women are adults, mid/late 20's. Children would be easier, I think... :slight_smile:

    Question: why does your mood indicate that you are in pain - is there anything we can do...? :-(
     
    #3 Greywolf149, Jun 6, 2015
  4. kaotyc

    kaotyc
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    I don't think it has to do with sexuality though. Even straight women could be uncomfortable with that and not say something.

    And I had gotten injured at work in April. It was an inflammed tendon. After 3 weeks, doctor clears me. I go back to work. Friday, I got reinjured (after around 2 weeks of being cleared) Went to the doctor again. This time another doctor sees me and we talk to a physical therapist. I have a sprained Subscalpularis muscle in my rotary cuff. The subscalpularis is the muscle right behind your shoulder. The sprain caused the tendon to become inflammed both times. So I'm working on getting the inflammation down then they need to work on my rotary cuff because this type of injury is a wear-and-tear injury without proper treatment
     
    #4 kaotyc, Jun 6, 2015
  5. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    I wouldn't be offended. Different culture express affection differently. If It's a platonic affection, I see no harm.
     
    #5 Fallingdown7, Jun 6, 2015
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