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Advice for Very "Friendly" Friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by kaotyc, Jun 6, 2015.

  1. kaotyc

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    I have become friends with a girl at my job. We got along great. Even after she quit, we keep in contact. She's real fun and we have the same type of personality. And she has a boyfriend. She also knows I only like men. Because when I was in my girl "persona" so to speak, we were joking around and she said if she was born a male, she would treat her so good. And I go "if I was born a male I'd be gay."

    Well, lately she keeps talking about how she wants to do me. That she wants my babies, etc. I'm not out to her as bigender yet, but I think she knows because she has seen me in my guy persona. And since then she's made comments of "wanting that D" and what cute babies we'd make. And it"s kinda making me uncomfortable.

    But she's also the type to get hurt real easy. And takes offense to things because a lot of people have hurt her in the past. So what do I do?
     
  2. EbonyDazed

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    Let me be the first to tell you, as a girl who's fallen for straight girls, it's very hard to tell when a girl is trying to be "Friendly" Flirty or "I want you" flirty. Since she already has a boyfriend I think she might be trying to be friendly-flirty. (Straight girls are strange bare with me)

    I want to up front say I'm not good with girls who are really easily hurt but I want to offer some suggestions anyway if that's alright.

    If she's easily upset that shouldn't stop you from saying something. You're uncomfortable and there are ways to express that without hurting her feelings. Maybe you could try asking one of her friends if you're close to any of them and ask them how you should handle it.

    If that's not the case maybe you should see what happens? I mean if she is just friendly flirting and not making any other moves then she must think it's harmless. Maybe just sit her down and tell her that your not comfortable with it in a nice way. Just because you don't want to hurt her doesn't mean you should be in a situation in which you are uncomfortable.

    I hope this helps!
     
  3. kaotyc

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    That's the problem. I'm her only friend. Her cousin works with me still and my friend was giving her rides and because her cousin told her she was "moody", she left her at the job with no ride. No warning or anything, just left her there.

    And she's told me numerous times if she wasn't with her boyfriend, she would date me. I'm just so confused! Like it's a messy situation.
     
  4. silkyprince

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    I would say tell her nicely. Something like, "I appreciate it, but could you maybe stop doing that?" Honestly, if you treat it like it's not her fault, she just didn't realize how uncomfortable you are, it might go over better than you expect.
     
  5. kaotyc

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    I did. And she got SUPER moody and defensive.
     
  6. Lin1

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    Has she kept doing it since ?
     
  7. richr

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    Maybe just do it in a comical matter-of-fact manner like, 'sorry girl, you're cute but I play for the other team'? The more you act like there's no way you're attracted to women and make your attraction to men loud and clear, the more likely she is to drop the idea and stop the flirting, I think.