Hey, I was on a dating app and listed in my description that I don't care if someone is feminine or masculine. Then I met a really cute guy and after meeting up with him I found that he was extremely feminine. At first I didn't really care if a guy was feminine or not I get people need to express themselves but for some reason it was really bothering me. Whenever I hear is voice I get slightly annoyed. I can still keep conversation and have a fun time but it still bothers me. Any advice or perspective changers out there, I think the main reason it bothers me is that being with him in public is a huge red flag that I'm gay. We can't walk around without people looking at us. This sounds and probably is extremely superficial. I would really appreciate your help. Thanks.
How do you feel about his feminity when it's just the two of you, in private? Why does this bother you? And I'm not just asking that, I'm asking. It's good that you're trying to understand where your discomfort comes from, but you have to dig a bit deeper. Rationally, you know there's nothing "wrong" or "lesser" about femininity. Viscerally, though, you're not comfortable with it, apparently because people stare and make assumptions about your sexuality. People make assumptions about your sexuality all the time. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that most people assume you're straight when they meet you. Does that bother you, too? Or is it that you're still a little uncomfortable with your attractions to men? Or is it that you're scared of people's reactions, possible violence? How out are you? I mean, kissing a girl in public is a huge red flag that I'm gay, and that's okay with me.
