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Would you stay as friends or cease communication?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Jax12, Jun 7, 2015.

?

Friend or foe?

  1. Stay as friends

    12 vote(s)
    80.0%

  2. Cease communication

    3 vote(s)
    20.0%
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  1. Jax12

    Jax12
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    Lets say things didn't work out, and a break up is needed.

    First off I don't like cutting people away from my life, so I would try my best to remain as friends because I'm a compassionate and selfless guy. If it doesn't work out and we can't stay as friends, then it is what it is.

    What would you guys do? Friend our foe?
     
    #1 Jax12, Jun 7, 2015
  2. africanFlower

    africanFlower
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    definitely stay as friends unless they give me a reason to not want to be around them but even that is only for a while.
     
    #2 africanFlower, Jun 7, 2015
  3. Lyana

    Lyana
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    It depends on the relationship.

    If it was someone I was friends with before we went out, then I would try to remain friends. If it wasn't, I wouldn't put as much effort into it, because it wouldn't be as big of a loss.

    If we dated for a long time/I was very emotionally involved, I would ease up on the communication for a while and try not to see them often, to give us both time to get over any hard feelings or lingering affection. If we weren't that close, it would be easier to see them right after the break up without awkwardness.

    It's not just "friend or foe?" It's, "To what extent do I still want this person in my life?" One of my exes is a buddy now, someone I like and can have fun with, but he isn't a friend. Another is someone I don't want to see, and would rather not have any interaction with. But he's not an enemy.

    And, of course, the other person may have their own feelings about this.
     
    #3 Lyana, Jun 7, 2015
  4. Lazuri

    Lazuri
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    All my exes are my friends except one, but that was her choice. Then I might stray away from them, but I do that with other friends too.
     
    #4 Lazuri, Jun 7, 2015
  5. Chiroptera

    Chiroptera
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    Stay as friends, but i think you should cease communication at least for some time, so you two can recover from the break up and see each others just as friends in the future.
     
    #5 Chiroptera, Jun 7, 2015
  6. PurpleDude

    PurpleDude
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    in an ideal world, why not try and stay friends. the reality, for me at least, is that I've found a way to drive them away, so staying friends isn't usually an option.
     
    #6 PurpleDude, Jun 7, 2015
  7. Chip

    Chip
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    I don't think it's often a strong binary "stay as friends" vs "don't stay as friends." It really depends on how each of you handle it.

    I've known people who have been together for 5 or 7 years who break up and maintain amazing friendship, and I've also known people for whom it doesn't work at all. I think what it really boils down to is how open and authentic communication is. If you both work at it, and are both willing to be vulnerable, you can cultivate ongling, strong friendships. Sometimes it takes a while, but it's possible.

    On the other hand... it's also quite possible for the things that were problematic in the relationship to get in the way of it becoming a friendship. It really depends on how the two people approach things.
     
    #7 Chip, Jun 7, 2015
  8. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    In my opinion, both. Cease communication and then try a friendship again when you can handle it.

    I did this with an ex of mine, and we still talk today.
     
    #8 Fallingdown7, Jun 7, 2015
  9. Michael

    Michael
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    It depends on how deep the relationship was and how and why it ended.

    I'm the type who tends to get involved with complicated, passionate and almost novel-like relationships, so I need calm after such a storm. I'm talking about months here.

    That doesn't mean that if she or him needs a favour I'll say no... I'll always be there if they were honest with me, but I won't be seeing or texting them as often as I do with 'normal' friends.
     
    #9 Michael, Jun 7, 2015
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