I would really appreciate your insight!!!

Hello!!! How are you?

Hello!!!

How are you?

I recently completed high school and throughout my senior year I have been struggling to come to terms with my sexuality.

Freshman year of high school, I befriended a very close friend of one of my gay admirers (fan club???); again they were really "close" so I assumed that this friend was gay, but didn't care.

As a result of our friendship, he ended up telling me "I love you" while staring deeply into my soul. I walked away without a word...

Our relationship changed from that point on and we grew distant. Junior year came around and our schedules were very similar, so we began speaking again. Eventually we began signing up for group projects along with one another... I don't know how, but one day we moved our desks together for group work... and the magic hit me. It was the first time I was ever attracted to a male (or anyone for that matter)... has anyone else felt these spontaneous butterflies???

The entire summer of junior year, I was confounded...distraught even at the fact that I could love/like a guy. Senior year was thus met with 3-minute long staring sessions between the two of us!!! We walked side by side to our classes each day... we flirted with one another... we studied together, we were in love.

Although it was pretty well known that said individual's sexuality was 'questionable', I was never sure enough to directly make a move...when winter break came, I began to miss him. As soon as class began, the air was different between us... it was as if we both had spent the break thinking of one another, and coming to terms with our feelings. At that point, our encounters started to get a lot more sexually charged: EVERY DAY in class he'd lean back unto my desk, or touch my shoulders---"you like that huh?".

Long story long. I never spoke to him about this directly, nor have I had the opportunity to express my feelings... Following prom, he started getting closer to one of our female friends. He's a very popular individual, and about 85% of our school believes he's gay, so I can see the pressure to "conform", but at the END of high school ( a pseudo-relationship) really? Maybe he's just experimenting (although I am aware he's done so and has refused to have sex w/ girls before) . After graduation, I saw him at a few events, but did not bother to acknowledge his existence (I was hurt). He approached me to talk, but I was short.

With all of our history, should I seek closure and contact him, wait... or just let bygones be bygones????
Maybe I'm just crazy!!!