There is a girl I fell for on the instant I saw her almost two years ago. I didn't realize I had fallen for her until much much later; I am sometimes a bit slow like that. I was with a man at the time and hadn't had any relationships with women, even though I have my whole life more or less recognized the possibility that I could be interested in women as well; I just never met anyone (very picky in terms of men as well an also I am a bit of a loner so never looked much for relationships). But I met her, and later on when I realized I have in fact feelings for her, lot of things fell into place and my relationship with my boyfriend also started to go downhill, but not even mostly because of my shifting sexuality. I never saw her very often, but whenever I did I had butterflies and was very nervous. I learnt she is bisexual as well, and eventually it happened a handful of times in the course last year that we ended up kissing. I loved it, and no man has never turned me on like she did. It was never anything serious though, more like fooling around. But she met a guy and they started dating, and now she is in a happy relationship with him whereas I have left mine. I am happy for her because I want her happiness, and in a way I guess I know it can never happen for us; but then also I saw her again last weekend in an event and just looking into her eyes felt like magic. And I realized I might actually be in love with her. And yet I know I have to get over her. But damn if it isn't hard.
Oh, sweetheart. (*hug*) I hope putting these feelings down helped you somewhat. There really is nothing I can say to make this hurt less, but I know how it feels. Time, time, time is the answer. I admire you for being happy for her and knowing that the right thing to do is step out of the picture (at least romantically) since she has a partner. Stay that way, you're gold. I know this may not be what you want to hear most when you're in love with someone, but there will be someone else for you, someone who comes at just the right point in your life and in theirs and everything will be magic and sparkles.
Thanks for the reply and kind words I know the answer is time.. But I have never met anyone like her, she is magical, and I don't even know if I want to get over her. Which I guess is my problem.. I would never try to break her relationship or even wish for it to end because it would hurt her but somewhere in the back of my head I guess I am just hoping for something impossible, don't even know what. Oh stupid heart.
There's no rush to "get over her," if you're not ready to let go. As long as you're being respectful about it, it's okay. Lying to yourself about your feelings wouldn't help. It's good that you're honest with yourself, and us on here. Yes, our hearts tend to be stupid. Sending my support from France.
