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first pride parade triggered depression, looking to meet people and get out more

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by quietshadow, Jun 8, 2015.

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  1. quietshadow

    quietshadow
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    A few friends (a married lesbian couple) took me to my first pride parade. I found it really depressing, seeing so many people together, who loved each other, or who I was attracted to, which never really happens, and knowing I'll never have that. Makes me think I need to get out more, but I don't want all this cheating and not really looking for friends, but want to meet people without a massive crowd either. I feel stuck. I'm a really shy and anxious person, so I don't even know where to start. Plus I'm terrified of getting used again. I tried a online dating thing, and got stood up, then stalked for a little while. Bad taste in my mouth maybe for it all, yet I want someone. Any tips?
     
    #1 quietshadow, Jun 8, 2015
  2. Sek

    Sek
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    "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game."

    I believe all negative experiences are learning points. You might have had some unfortunate experiences in the past, but the past is not identical to the future. If you do have another bad encounter, well you survived running into a few hurdles before so you'll just survive it again.

    If you think you're shy, anxious and incapable of doing it, that's okay. If you've not put yourself out there before, that's the natural response. However the people who are successful in finding relationships are those that are determined and put themselves outside of their comfort zone.

    You already have a major advantage by knowing some lesbian friends. Get them to introduce you to some of their friends, who can in turn introduce you to more. It's a good way to get the ball rolling.
     
    #2 Sek, Jun 8, 2015
  3. sappho06

    sappho06
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    I went with my sister. Inner homophobia kicked in and I drank a bit too much. So yeah, not a very memorable first pride. Next time I'll go with friends and have fun, but the first was just a bit overwhelming. Gkad to hear I'm not the only one who struggled with the first pride. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 sappho06, Jun 8, 2015
  4. resu

    resu
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    Don't think you'll never have what you saw. It sounds like you need to find some small groups that don't increase your anxiety. As Sek mentioned, try to network through your own friends, but also consider finding some group that has a theme (like a book group, sports group, etc.).
     
    #4 resu, Jun 9, 2015
  5. TyTy91

    TyTy91
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    You're just like me
     
    #5 TyTy91, Jul 1, 2015
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