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obsessed with her

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Carmen332, Jun 11, 2015.

  1. Carmen332

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    England
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Hi, I don't really know where to begin. I'm seeking advice, Maybe someone else who understands how i'm feeling and a somewhat diagnosis i guess.
    I have an unhealthy obsession with my friend.

    In September i went away to University or college, whatever. I moved into a flat with 7 other people. One of my housemates being Jessica. Jess and I didn't really talk to begin with as we're both from completely different worlds i guess we both assumed we wouldn't find common ground, but we did. I gave her the time and we slowly but surely became best friends, in separable actually. Jess has an extroverted personality and she likes to take control, she's a natural leader. I on the other hand am somewhat introverted and a natural follower, so it worked. We spent next to every single day together, we cooked together, we did literally spent every minute together and i loved it. Until i started to obsess over her. When i'd wake up in the morning she'd be first thing on my mind. I'd check her social media to see if she was awake and if not i'd literally lay waiting for her to wake up. When she got a job i'd spend the hours sitting around the house just waiting for her to come home and always made sure food was on the table. I'd get jealous when she spoke to her friends from home or had her boyfriend over to visit her to the point where i would cry myself to sleep. When we argued and fell out about silly things, i'd always freak out and cry so badly, literally like she'd died.
    Now we're both home for summer and I can't stop thinking about her. I wait around the house all day hoping that she'll message me, and when she doesn't i get upset.

    I know this may sound like a crush or i'm in love with her or something but i don 't think it's like that. I think there is something wrong with me. I am completely obsessed with my best friend and it hurts.
    I know people will say try to get over her and move on, i can't. I still want her as my best friend because i do love her (not IN love with her) i just want to stop being so obsessed. I need help.

    Carmen

    PS. excuse the bad grammar.
     
  2. Sek

    Sek
    Full Member

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    If you're as inseparable as you say you are that's probably led to you relying on her presence for happiness. You have developed a codependent relationship with her which is not healthy for you and now it's having its effects because you can't be together.

    You're gonna have to bite the bullet and realise that it's gonna be painful but you have to start distancing yourself a little and finding other ways to preoccupy your time. If your mind is busy and focussed on something else, she won't be on your mind. The more you sit around your house and have idle thoughts, the more negativity you will bring upon yourself. The practical solution is to find ways to occupy your time. Try getting a job, reconnecting with old friends, joining a gym, finding hobbies.