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what my parents wants?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Scaliion, Jun 13, 2015.

  1. Scaliion

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Cairo
    Yesterday my mom and I were shopping it was mainly for her to buy new clothes but I could buy as well. Anyway I suggested her a kind of style that I want and she wws like no it's boyish thought it wws in the girls section. Then a few mins later I saw a girl with that style so I told my mom like that and see it's a girl (I don't want a girl stuff but there's styles that are unisex) Anyway she said she has boons and her fogies is feminine and you aren't. Everyone will stare ( like they don't) she doesn't want me to buy boys clothes because I have a boyish figure even my voice is a guys voice in 20. It's not my fault. Idk Why she doesn't get it. Then I tried to rremian silent till we got the bus Then she mentioned doing her hair so I told her I want to do mine as well becaiwe it's frizzy and I want androgynous cut. So she replyed no you won't cut. You stupid it's already short a d you want to cut it to Where else?? I told her i want to adjust it and so. Then she didn't reply. I stopped talking to her and ignored her all the Way home.
    When I got home my sister asked What's wrong and my mom told her and they both shouted at me. You won't cut it wait for it to get longest and do a girly haircut. And they kept ranting over me. Then my mom said look at all the girls around you. You don't have a soul or feelings? You are a weirdo. And even girls with short hair still look feminine but you don't.
    I kept defending on myself and told them it's my hair and I have the money to do it and I'm just being nice and asking your opinion. Why you sooooo phobic over my hair ehy? She said you are a shame for us always. Then she said if you cut it will be your last Day on earth. I told them I will run away it's Bette and you won't get worried of me being a shame for you or pay for me and they were like: are uou serious? Are you stupid? Must be crazy. We won't let you run we better kill you or lock you like an animal answer when someone asks about you we will say you are dead dead . And I swear if you shaved your hair I will hold What's left from it and drag you in the middle fo street and make a bg scandal for you in the whole neighbourhood.
    (She did it before)
    I'm so done and idk what to do anymore, she hates me and all what I djd for her was forgiving and loving her.. my whole family but they hate and always hurt me and think of that people will say. I'm not strong I'm so soo weak to leave them my heart won't let me do it. I'm afraid they will die when I leave or something I have many places to go if I escaped just ewhats stopping me is I'm too weak and it's not normal thing here to escape from family unless a couple eloped together.
    Idk what anymore.. I'm so sick and praying everyday from my heart and always crying not with tears but my soul is crying. I'm sick of being at street and looking at boys and staring at them and saying lucky you young man living your own lives. But What's mine? I haven't lived mine in 18 years. Is it even fair?what I did so wrong Why I have to be like this..
     
  2. Vegetarian94

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Maryland
    I am so sorry to hear about all of this! You have every right to be who you are and whomever you wish to be.

    I will never understand how families can be so unsupportive, harsh, and downright cruel. You certainly deserve to be yourself and have people in your life who do support you. At the end of the day, you should do what's best for you. That's easier said than done, I know.

    If you ask me, you are not wrong or weak or strange or anything like that. Honestly, I admire you for being so strong. The fact that you stand up for who you are - defend yourself - even though your family is so hard on you, that makes you so very brave.

    I hope that things get better, and they will someday. You have us here on the forum and definitely my support! <3