So, as people probably already know, I'm paranoid. I've posted a bunch of threads about my questioning before, so that should fill you in if you need. Here's the quick version. I've been questioning for almost 2 years, I started going crazy about it the last 6 or so months. Moving on. I'm going to sleepaway camp this summer (I've been going for five years) and I'm in a bunk with twentyish girls for two months straight. We're all really comfortable with each other, and when I say that, I mean walking around the bunk naked and showering together comfortable. (Come to think of it, that was probably what triggered my questioning in the first place...) Anyways, I'm not sure what I should do. Since it's at the forefront of my mind, I feel like I owe it to them to let them know, but I also don't want to make things weird between us. I've developed close friendships, and a few crushes, but I'm not sure if I WANT them or want to BE them. And, on top of that, I don't know if I'll develop romantic feelings towards one of them over the summer, and if I do... I don't think any of them are attracted to girls (considering at least 60% have had boyfriends) and I don't know what will happen. I'm leaving for camp in a little over a week and I'm kind of freaking out. Please help!
If the idea of physical intimacy with them is appealing, then it might be where you're tipping over to more attraction than just being envious of their bodies. Girl crushes are essentially deep admiration, and don't include wanting to kiss her. i find that while I might deeply admire someone, I don't get that fluttery, excited sort of feeling like I do with a girl I like. Furthermore, you don't owe them anything. I changed with girls in locker rooms in high school. I didnt go around announcing I was gay, because it didn't really matter. Now if it personally makes you feel better, then go for it. But sharing something like this is about how you feel. Not them. Because ultimately it shouldn't alter how they treat you. Friends who knew I was gay still changed in front of me. Hell, I have changed in front of a straight male friend. I know at 14 it can feel like a big deal, and sometimes at 14 girls can be dumb, but honestly honey I wouldn't fret about that one. As far as romantic feelings, straight crushes can suck, but there is no guarantee you'll even have one. And if you do, well, stuff happens. It will be a learning experience, and you aren't obligated to tell her that you have a crush on her. I mean you can if you like. I've done it, but she was also my best friend and super liberal, so I knew she'd be chill about it. Lastly, you might have another non-straight girl in your bunk. And if you do, you might bond. And you might tell those girls you're not straight, and they'll be chill about it, and not mention it the rest of camp. Honestly, I would just allow yourself to have fun at camp. You're 14. Have a good time, and take things as they come.
