How to make friends when you have social anxiety? PLEASE

I don't think going to a bar is a good idea.Which kind of things do you enjoy? I think it would help with your anxiety if you don't see it as meeting other gay people but meeting other people that are interested in the same things as you.

I guess you want to meet other LGBT people, so you should try and find an LGBT group that does something you like that would give you an instant conversation topic (I don't know, from hiking , to book clubs, dancing, photography... I'm sure there is something you can find).

I would also resommend you to contact them before actually going in person. Honestly, i would your tell them that I have social anxiety and that is a bit difficult for me. For example in our LGBT* society at uni we are often contacted by people that are very shy or get anxious, no one makes a big deal out of it and people are more than happy to meet (like meet just one person or a couple of people) before actually joining any bigger social events. Maybe I am biased on this one, but people tend to be quite kind in general.

Another approach that might work for you is; Whenever you go to any new place,even if you are very nervous... take into account that that people do not know you. They have no preconceptions about you, so for them you can be a "new you" more outgoing or whoever you want to be at the beginning it might require a lot of courage being more outgoing but you will ease into it... just think " even if only for these minutes" I'm going to be outgoing, open, however I want to be" after that it should get easier

 

Hi TyTy91!

I totally agree with Julieno, also I have had overcome feeling episodes of anxiety/stress due to personal reasons, not so much with my sexual preference, but having anxiety, in general is evil. It had taken me about six months to grab a hold of it and to understand what set it off, as I see you have as well. I would say follow Juieno's advice as my thoughts are they same as his, if you are with people and you say to them beforehand you have social anxiety, they will understand and help you in anyway they can. Having myself gone through it, anxiety does not like logic. Again, I can only say this from my own experience that I would think worry, upon worry, upon worry, upon worry to the point where even I am like "OH SHUT UP!!" So try and logically think "Okay I am scared of this, what am I scared of and what do I need to do?" In my own experience, I have had people asking me what anxiety feels like, as I'm sure you won't. But the best way to explain it I find, it's like a siren going off in your head and you don't know how to turn it off. Because we all need anxiety to a certain point, it keeps safe and hopefully stops us making any big or dangerous mistakes. But, then we shouldn't have too much anxiety because it stops you doing stuff you want to do and it's not a nice feeling, anyway good luck and I'm sure you'll be fine, take a step at a time, but do not say 'no' or 'I'll try' or 'maybe' say 'I'll give it a good ol' college kick arsing! I hope this helps?