I'm practically homebound. Can't leave the house without being driven by someone else. I was going to get my own car in November, but I now have to wait until February. I do get to have a bit of a social life when I go to open mics. Just no chance of finding any queer girls. I'm scared the instrument I play makes me unattractive to girls. I'm also falling behind in music because of this obsession. I used to be mainly frustrated about my lack of social life. Now I'm mostly sexually frustrated. I don't care as much about making friends or romance. I just want to have physical(doesn't have to be sexual) experiences with someone I'm sexually attracted to. That's it. I'm going extremely crazy over that. I won't be able to do any of that until February. I'm just crying and screaming at the top of my lungs about this every night. I'm just dying. I can't focus on my hobbies anymore. I'm shutting everyone out. I just want to be able to live my life. I'm not feeling excited for anything. I'm going to Hawaii soon. I don't give a damn. I actually kind of dread it. No chance of any experiences there, so I don't care. Just stuck with my family. How can I survive until February or even later? There's no guarantee I'll find someone.
How old are you? It does sound like a tough situation, but don't give up hope. Definitely, being a musician, no matter what the instrument, is admirable by most people. Have you tried online dating sites? Can you attend some LGBT group? ---------- Post added 20th Jun 2015 at 04:32 PM ---------- Also, try to live in the present rather than worrying about doomsday scenarios in February. Worrying won't make time pass by any longer. Try doing creative things like maybe writing some music or even written poetry/prose related to your feelings. That may help relieve some tension.
Thanks for replying. I've tried online dating and LGBT groups. Online dating is kind of pointless right now because it's impossible to arrange any dates. Mainly because I can't get myself to any dates. I'll try I tried LGBT groups, but they were all poorly organized. The ones I did manage to go to were full of people that knew each other. I can't stand groups like that. Maybe I'll try writing. It's pretty impossible to live in the present. All I feel is sexual frustration and loneliness. I can't really feel my music anymore. I've just been so singleminded lately. I wish I could just get into my music and forget this. My music can't express these feelings. I prefer to scream or punch things.
Try to work on what is in your control. That's why I suggested creative writing or music. Do you work or go to school? Do you go to groups/activities that are not LGBT specific but may have LGBT members?
I don't work or go to school. I'm too depressed. I'm thinking of going back to school in the fall, but it's pretty small. None of the activities I do have LGBT members. I just don't belong in the LGBT community. Even if I did meet someone, I'd probably have a hard time getting privacy.
I'm in a similar situation, accept I can't leave the house without my parents because of illness. Because I'm only just about to turn 15 I really get isolated as I don't have any friends, don't know any gay people in person that I can date, and I get really jealous when I see lesbian couples. I don't know if I can be of any help, but know that you're not alone and feel free to message me.
