Hard time envisioning marriage..

i haven't met a married lgbt couple irl too [since same sex marriage isn't legal in my country] but i know i want to marry a man [go somewhere else just to marry a man \m/ ]

maybe you're just afraid of the social stigma attached to lgbt marriage and lgbt parenting.. and, i know of some bi males who tries to marry a girl as much as possible even if they're actually more on the other end of the bi spectrum, just to conform to what the society "expects" of them, what the society thinks is "normal".. maybe because since they have an "option", they should just settle down with a "less risky" kind of relationship.. i really don't know, but good luck (*hug*) i hope you find someone "worth it" (*hug*)

 

I am not going through it right now, but I did when I was questioning my sexuality about 7 years ago. I just couldn't get over the idea of spending my life with a man and raising a family together. It really bothered me and it was almost used as a justification to myself that I'm not gay, even though I knew I was into guys. If I couldn't be with a man forever, then maybe this is just a phase. Up until this point I had only really hooked up with guys and never had any sort of serious relationship. Anyway, it wasn't a phase. Ha.

As I began to get into the dating scene a little more, and finding people I could really connect to and enjoyed spending time around, all of that began to change. I slowly became comfortable with the idea that the traditional white picket fence house and family could be easily adapted to something I wanted (with a man). I really do think that finding someone "worth it" as you put it, is a huge factor in becoming comfortable with the idea because it helps you visualize it with someone who will actually make you happy.

Even though those early relationships didn't pan out, it really did make me comfortable with the idea of living my life with a man to the point where I now can't wait for that day where I have my own version of happiness.

I am confident similar experiences will have the same effect on you. Keep your head up!

 

It initially felt weird to me too. Let's face it, we just don't come across many LGBT couples. Like Rob said, starting to date guys is what really normalized gay relationships for me.

 

These days I'm over it, but I definitely had some misgivings about it in the beginning. Right after I accepted being gay, it didn't even seem all that lovely.
It was like "All others will find a girl and marry her and have the perfect life, while I'll be stuck having to marry a man"

But... as I discovered later, no one "just marries a man". You don't suddenly find yourself at the head of a hall in a tux, look right and *BAM* there's this man, there.


Instead, you do a lot of stuff beforehand. You meet people. You befriend some. You develop feelings for a few. One of them returns the feelings. You spend weeks, months, years doing things together, hanging out, talking, getting to know each other.

And after that, the idea of making it official is almost an afterthought. You're not marrying "a man". You're marrying "THIS very unique awesome man". Marrying by itself only means so much as the person you're marrying does.

And maybe you haven't met him yet. That happens. For many it takes a bit of searching. But for now it may be best to focus on putting yourself in situations where you meet more people. Marrying is a good long-term goal, but never forget there's a lot of steps to tackle first, and if those go well, the marriage will seem much more natural!

 

I agree with Filip. Marriage is probably the ultimate commitment one can make to their partner, knowing that you want to share everything you have together for life.

It may just be the case of where you are at the moment in your life. Perhaps at some point in the future you will start to see the value of creating a family life together with your one and only, rather than holding on to the concept of family life that is imposed by others.

I haven't been in a relationship yet but because I am usually attracted to men who are level-headed, loving and all-in-all a family guy, so I can definitely picture being in a relationship that will lead to marriage and raising a family together.

Not to mention the fact that I am a hopeless romantic deep down, and I get incredibly turned on by attractive men who are great with kids.

Dreamy sexy papi... *blush*

 

I feel the same, marriage is something I wanted for myself. I know I'm young and should be just concerned about enjoying my now but I'm a hopeless romantic and dream of finding someone to share my space. But one of the things that scares me about fully comming out is what i see about the gay community in the media. I want love romance but am afraid as you don't see alot of that where I'm from.