I've hit rock bottom and feel like I'm running out of time.

You've verbalised my sentiments perfectly haha...except I have never been in a single romantic relationship. I've not even been kissed...or kissed anyone!

I find it easier to just focus on my career for now. At least I know that hard work pays off in the marketplace but, when it comes to love, I have no control whatsoever. Hopefully it will come someday and it will be beautiful. For now I just want to invest the time and energy I have on things with measurable and reliable expected returns. (Please pardon my finance background).

Don't be disheartened. You are still very young and at the very beginning of your career. Take it as an opportunity to explore your abilities and find out, in terms of career, what you're good at, what makes you tick and what you definitely don't want to do.

Keep looking for jobs that promise good career growth and that will equip you with transferable skills that are highly valued by employers, e.g. leadership, project management, people management, change management skills etc. Find a mentor, network, read a lot, take courses (there are lots of free ones on Coursera and Edx), go for a professional qualification or even go back to full-time education. Whatever. Just make sure you have a well researched and defined goal and that you make use of your youth wisely. You will thank yourself when you have a successful career, a good bank balance, a house to your name debt-free, and the ability to pursue your hobbies and interests without any financial angst.

 

Hey, you got to give yourself more credit!

You didn't get the job because it was handed to you. You got it because you deserved it. You're only temporarily unemployed. You'll find a job in due time, maybe not as good as your old job, but still a job nonetheless.

The world will surprise you. Attractiveness is subjective. If you don't like the way you look, then change it, exercise more. Don't equate being chubby with being unattractive! Some people even prefer the chubby looks. Geekiness can be a plus as well!

I understand what you're feeling. My increasingly successful peers often left me bitter and jealous, but I've learned to be happy for them.

It's still not too late to turn your life around. To be honest, it's not that bad to begin with. Good luck!

 

Aw man. I wish you weren't so tough on yourself, it's hard to read someone belittle themselves like you have. I don't doubt you might be going through a rough patch, but you have to recognise that any storm (literal or metaphorical) has a beginning, middle and an end. You are in the tough part which is the middle but you have to stay grounded and find healthy ways to make yourself feel better.

In life we travel paths that sometimes go awry. There's always some good to be made because our paths don't always go how we expect them to, and more often than not there is some revolutionary good that comes out of it which changes us. Look for that in your life; going through struggles betters us because we learn from it, but we have to consciously recognise the lessons and intentionally allow ourselves to move forward.

And as a final note, one thing that I've learned is that when something is making us unhappy, that is like a warning light that tells us change is needed. You have a few lights flashing because you have identified things you are unhappy with:

So you already know what you have to work on. Although I think we both know the problem is something a little deeper here, because you are blaming your unhappiness on temporary things. The solution to a healthier mind here is learning that these things do not mean much in the big picture of life, and beating yourself up over these things is not worth it. Sure, if it improves your life, change those things. But realise that these qualities are fleeting and another will come around to bring you down until you are able to make your happiness independent of these things.

 

you're in your mid/late twenties goddammit!! plenty of scope for things to turn around!!

I know that job means a lot to self image and well being and so - as you sound very employable - then a new job can be the cornerstone for your new path ahead. It may be different to 'the perfect job' you had before .. but it could still be equally satisfying

 

Im almost your age, unlike you, i´ve never had the job i´ve dreamt about and there´s a little or no prospect at all and i´ve never had a relationship, do u still have a reason to claim? ;-)

 

Would you go around and tell someone they can't be happy because others out there are having a better time? Hopefully the answer is no because it's ridiculous to base your feelings off other people! You can feel whatever you want because it's you who is dealing with it.

If you suppress your feelings, they more than likely pop up again in another area of your life in a dysfunctional way. Be that lower self esteem, shorter temper, etc.

Let yourself feel sad but also tell yourself that it's important to start getting over it by making productive changes. You can be sad, but don't keep yourself in that place by not changing anything.

 

Ask yourself, why would you want (as in, "why would I want..." ) to go out with someone who only cares about your professional job status? I've had similar feelings and it's really depressing to think that people will only be interested in you if you're currently in the middle of reaping some life reward-points. You can turn it around and say "I don't want that BS in my life anyway!" But in terms of what to do about it, I don't know if there's any right answer.

I'll tell you what my 20s were like: they mostly sucked. I was single most of the time, I hated it, and I was stuck in an endless cycle of desperately pursuing a change in that social status. If, rather than seeking out dates, chatting, spending 100s of hours maintaining online dating profiles, trying to work on my "attractiveness", "figuring myself out", and bouncing back whenever I got rejected, I had poured those 10 years of energy into a business instead, I could be a millionaire by now!

But I'd also be 50 times more clueless about anything to do with relationships. I might be in a relationship rather than single, but it would also be retarded, with me probably being unhappily married, being a controlling n00b, and facing some frustrating weirdness where my flaky wife wants a divorce, is never happy and blames me for everything.

Another way to look at your struggles is to realise that you're progressing. You're moving forward, learning and dealing with things that other people have not faced yet. You're levelling up. But if you're cruising, that's when you get blind-sided.

Dating while jobless and struggling can seem like such a dilemma. You've got X amount of energy. Should you spend it on attracting solid people into your life who will appreciate your artistic qualities?
Should you ignore social stuff, and focus on getting straight back into a career?
Or maybe do half of both?
Career success is like a tree that's showing off some bright red fruit that's easy for everyone to see. The naive and greedy all want some of that. On the other hand, seeking a relationship can leave you feeling a bit hollow. There is another option...
Focus on yourself and your other needs.

 

Had too long a reply so posted on your wall instead

 

The truth is no one goes into a situation completely prepared for it because we can't know the future, even these metaphorical sherpa or tourguides you speak of wouldn't be completely prepared. It's about resiliency and applying your knowledge to whatever problem comes around. You're allowed to make mistakes, it's part of the learning process; but ultimately, identifying where you went wrong and being mature enough to make the necessary changes is what makes a successful and long-term happy person.

By the way, I too don't completely know how to go about meeting a person. But one day I threw myself in the deep end and managed to stay afloat, and now I'm in a relationship.

Don't get hung up on the idea that you are at a disadvantage or that you are part of a minority that is incapable of doing something, because no one is truly incapable, only unwilling to take the necessary risks.

 

Life is not about any of those: the purpose of life is to be your true self and love. The road will take you in the right direction and you will run in with the people you are meant to meet.
I don't believe careers and relationships should be a goal for the whole of your life. All careers end and relationships too. It's about the present moment and being happy. If you're not change !

Also things happen For a reason. You were let go so you are now free for the next chapter in your life something better!

And you go home every night and you have somebody... YOU. Be the friend/lover to yourself you always dreamed of and the right things people will come!