Dear Empty Closets, Recently, my girlfriend of two years and I have come out to our parents, finally. They don't know how long we've actually been together. I keep asking my girlfriend if she can come over to my house after she finishes her shift at the library. Every time, she has something she needs to do with her mother. She says that her mother likes me, but I'm not so sure. I think that here mother doesn't like me because I am with her daughter. What should I do about this dilemma? I haven't actually had my girlfriend over to my house in weeks! Love, Azure Deleroix
Congratulations on coming out! How old are you both? I think if it were me, I'd press her to pick a day to come over, even if it isn't today. Let her know that you miss being with her and tell her what you want to do with her (watch a movie, listen to music, chat, etc.) so she has something to look forward to.
She's 13 and so am I. She is with her dad half the week, and with her mom the other half. She always comes back from her dad's on the days that I come back from mine. It's rather unfortunate. Her mother thinks I'm "forceful with my love" and I'm actually the opposite. I wouldn't do anything to her that she doesn't want me to. I've tried last week, we only were able to go to ice cream cause she needed to reorganize her room. This week her mother says they have to prepare dinner together. At 2 in the afternoon?!
It does seem a little bit passive-aggressive. At your age, it's hard to really date since you are so reliant on other people to drive you places. Let us know more and maybe we can help you strategize.
Ask your girlfriend how her mother feels about your relationship. Is she comfortable or uneasy? I agree that things will be tough at your age (I am jealous because I could never do it). Maybe you could try visiting her after her shift at the library and spending some time with her and her mom. That would be kind of tricky, but it could make her mom get to know you better.
I've known her and her family for four years. They were always pretty chill about me. . . Her mother is a judgey person though. It makes it really hard to see her at this age, I agree, but, my mother is always willing to drive me places. . . And her and my mom are friends.
Maybe you could ask your mom for advice. Also, remember that you're not dating her mom, so just try to be polite but also get some way you can be together with your girlfriend. Maybe your mom could call her mom?