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can't work this out

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by confusedbubble, Jun 23, 2015.

  1. confusedbubble

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    So I told my crush I liked her about 2 weeks ago, she hasn't replied and we haven't spoken or met up since (as she works long hours)
    Cue today I get a message off her (out of the blue) asking if I'm OK and how I am, I tell her I'm OK and keeping busy.
    I get another message back off her saying I miss you loads xx
    I reply back miss you too, miss meeting up talking and the banter we had before this

    I finally felt like I was getting over her after she didn't reply or speak for 2 weeks and now I'm back to square one hurting again, she hasn't messaged since these 2 messages I can't work this out why message now
     
  2. resu

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    Tell her you are not okay because that's the truth. She hasn't addressed your message about liking her, which makes things awkward. You could say something like "Did you have time to think about what I sent you [2 weeks ago]?" She needs to verbalize her own feelings toward you, not just saying she misses you (friends can miss each other).
     
  3. confusedbubble

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    Got another message saying she wants to meet up soon, I'm going to meet her and ask her if she's had time to think about what I said. That way I can get a reaction from her I don't expect feelings just a reply and an understanding

    ---------- Post added 24th Jun 2015 at 12:48 AM ----------

    She wants to meet tomorrow evening for food and drinks I'm going to ask her when we arrive before we drink anything so she can't say she'd had and didn't know what she was saying
     
  4. resu

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    That sounds like a good idea because you will get some nonverbal clues. Good luck!
     
  5. confusedbubble

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    Thank yyou resu I'm super nervous, but need answers I've laid my cards on the table and wouldn't mind a reply. I haven't bugged her for an answer just left the ball in her court now she's initiated contact again so we'll see what her body language is like when I ask her
     
  6. Lin1

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    so how did it go ? :slight_smile:
     
  7. confusedbubble

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    She said she needs time as it came as a shock to her I've told her I won't mention it again, but her body language was more open we chatted away and back in contact again so we'll see how it goes....... I think she must be scared to move to the next level but one step at a time I'll make sure I leave some breadcrumbs just in case
     
  8. Lin1

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    Well that's positive, is she bi as well ? :slight_smile:
     
  9. confusedbubble

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    She's lesbian but only out to close friends but starting to open up to more people, we've only been speaking properly for just over a year and got close within the last 6 months she just seemed to gravitate to me (she's a good gaydar if there is such a thing)
    I think I just shocked her by being so open with her, I'm not one to show my feelings easily if I'm not comfortable don't get me wrong I've been out for years but it takes me a lot to open up and tell people my feelings after my last relationship went sour
     
  10. Lin1

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    I totally understand, would you be her first real relationship then ? Maybe that's what scares her. I have a very good 'gaydar' as well and I know a lot of people like the chase but get distant the second things become more serious, especially when they just start to be out or to admit and accept their sexuality. I find it quite annoying so I really hope your friends has time to warm up to the idea and give your relationship a try. :slight_smile:
     
  11. resu

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    Sounds like she just has to work on some things internally to become comfortable with her own feelings. I think that "breadcrumbs" idea is great! It may be a little difficult for you because of your crush, but I'm sure she will appreciate the kindness. What do you have to lose? Good luck!
     
  12. confusedbubble

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    Thanks guys that's what I was thinking linning maybe she just nervous and trying to work things out in her head.
    My gaydar is shocking sometimes I wish it was better to be honest it would make relationships easier.
    Yep I'm going to leave breadcrumbs I told her when I admitted that I liked her I didn't expect any reciprocation I just needed her to know that I liked her obviously it's a bonus if she does