I have a super homophobic family who just hates gays and believes that they are evil. My parents are, for the most part, kind people and very religious (they are catholic) but for some reason all of that just kind of disappears whenever an lgbtq+ topic pops up in a conversation or anything that could potentially lead to that topic appears. It makes me feel super upset and even suffocated at times because I just can't deal with all of their hatred towards the lgbtq+ community. I have older siblings who are not as extremely homophobic as my parents but they still believe that there shouldn't be gay marriage, and that being in love with someone and having a relationship with a person of the same sex is a choice (implying that people should not date whoever they like unless they are straight). I had enough courage sometimes to have a debate about it but it would mostly develop into an argument, at which point I have to stop in order to prevent them from thinking I support gay rights or that I am gay (or else they would treat me negatively and argue with me everyday). I just feel really depressed, sad, and so trapped in my family. I love them because they are my family but I'm just extremely upset that they are so homophobic. I sometimes think about my future and I get super excited about university, since I plan on going to one far away. However, I get super nervous and scared when I think about if I ever do get married.. How would I come out to them? What if none of them show up on my wedding day? I really want them to be a part of my life later on but I know that they would ignore me if I ever did come out (especially to my parents). Sorry for getting a bit side tracked there but all these thoughts and anxious feelings come to mind whenever they start talking negatively about the lgbtq+ community. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with depressed, sad feelings when or after a family member(s) is acting homophobic? Thank you for replying in advance!
I'm so sorry Hun I don't really have any advice for you but I really hope one day you can come out to your family
I'm so sorry... I don't exactly have advice, but I know how you feel. I'm thirteen and I'm sure I'm not straight, and I have a girlfriend. I can't come out to them till I'm eighteen, and even after that.. It'd be so hard, they wouldn't come to my wedding if I didn't marry a boy. I've had many instances when my parents said things homophobic. The only thing I've done was go to my room and cry, and I have a collection of coming out letters that I write each time. I don't have any advice...sorry... But, just stay strong. Its hard, but you can do it...and you have university to look forward to~ I'm sorry (*hug*)
I know how you feel. I went away to university and it's such a relief. Unfortunately now I'm home and even though I'm an adult, I can't afford to leave my mom's house. The other day my mom made a joking threat of physical violence if I'm gay. The very idea of coming out to them makes me feel sick. Perhaps your family will come around once you're out, especially if they realize the alternative is losing you. For now, do you have a support network outside of your family? A group of friends that accept you? People that you can be yourself with or talk to about all this?
Thank you for all of your support! I feel more comforted now ---------- Post added 28th Jun 2015 at 03:08 PM ---------- I'm sorry you feel this way too! I really hope my family will think like that later on in the future. I don't have anyone to talk to about this about besides this website. Some of my friends are okay with people of the lgbtq+ community but I decided not to tell them since I told them last year that I might be bicurious (testing see if I could come out to them later) and one of them replied jokingly by saying that our other friends should watch out and that I shouldn't go over to their sleepovers.. I shied away from talking about my sexuality with them since then. I feel so alone even though I know I'm not the only one
