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I don't want kids

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Asexual Pirate, Jun 28, 2015.

  1. Asexual Pirate

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    This is mainly a thread born out of frustration. Long story short, my boyfriend and I are looking at getting married in 2-5 years (not really in a rush here). We're both Christians and somewhat active in our individual church lives. Now that we've started moving in the marriage direction, people have started asking us when we want to start a family.

    It's so frustrating getting all of the questions and judgmental looks when I tell people I don't want kids. I sure as hell am not going to explain my reasoning (a mix between being asexual, autistic, and a myriad of health issues I'm going to pass down). I'm not even engaged yet, I can't imagine how unbearable this is going to get when I actually get married.

    Are there any other people out there who don't want kids? How do you deal with the frustration and hostility towards your choice?
     
  2. Xander27

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    I do want kids, but I only want to adopt them. My boyfriend is totally accepting of that and will be more than happy to adopt with me should we ever get married. However, a lot of people think its wrong of me that I never plan to birth children- I'm also planning on getting a partial hysterectomy as soon as I am old enough due to a mydrid of health issues I have, health issues that would greatly threaten the life of myself and any child and well.. my genetics do not bear passing on. There is a lot of hostility towards my decision, most people saying that I am not old enough to make a decision like that, my mom says I'm giving up on my future children before they have a chance, etc. Mostly, I just remember that my choice is my choice, and while people may disagree with me, NO ONE can force me to bear a child if I don't want to.
     
  3. Aspen

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    My girlfriend and I don't want kids either. Until people realize that having children is a personal choice and it's not a loss if you don't want to have any, there's always going to be judgment. Society says that a natural progression of life includes having children.

    Say "We're not looking to have kids." If they try to push the issue, change the subject. Talk about things that really are going on in your life.
     
  4. Gandee

    Gandee Guest

    Here's what my parents have to say about kids
    "It's fine to have kids. It's fine not to have kids. Either way is fine. If I hadn't had kids, I could have spent money on vacations and enjoyed a relaxing life." It's always up to the couple. My parents are right.
    I'd love to have kids though.
    (Oh and my parents do love and like me a lot, so I don't feel hurt when they say that at all. I can understand)
     
  5. Undisclosed

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    I don't want to have kids, either. I hope that I will find a girlfriend who doesn't mind that. It's just not something I ever envisioned for myself, you know? Even when I thought I was straight I never wanted kids.
     
  6. yaoicore

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    same here
     
  7. AKTodd

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    I've never wanted kids - like from early teens on, I was totally hardcore committed to not wanting kids. With few exceptions, I find small children hugely irritating and can't stand being around them for more than maybe 20 minutes or so. Parents who don't control their kids drive me up a wall.

    If you don't want kids, that's your business and nobody else's. If someone decides to push the issue (and some people seem to think they have some kind of right to question this), you are perfectly free to tell them it is really none of their business and that their behavior is both rude and in very poor taste.

    My 2c worth,

    Todd
     
  8. Peacemaker

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    I myself wouldnt mind children, but I wouldnt mind adopting children either but I dont ike when people think that others should have children, like thats all humans are good for
     
  9. Asexual Pirate

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    Yeah, I hate it when people think my reproduction is their business. I don't know how bad it is for others out there, but it's bad enough in religious circles. All of the ministry groups are aimed at couples with children and everyone expects kids to follow a marriage.

    And yeah, somewhere down the line I might change my mind, but that's not for anyone but me and my significant other to know. I'll have to come up with a witty response to this issue.
     
  10. ErickWolf

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    I'm just going into high school and I already know I don't want kids either (well, unless dogs count as 'kids', because I want lots of that kind :wink:). It's a combination of how dysphoric it would make me feel, the fact that I'd be giving up a huge chunk of my prime years for such a major choice, and that I really have no desire for the whole thing. -shrug- Honestly, I think relatives tend to put too much unnecessary pressure on passing on the family name as well. I agree with what Peacemaker said earlier; many people have goals other than reproduction.