Super Conservative Family

Omg my parents are catholic and also super conservative. If you've seen my out status its just one person so I can't help you there. I hope eveything works for you that is if you are comming out soon. I'm only fifteen so If I came out now Ill still have to live with these people for three years and I worried that if I come out they'll try to fix me or something......

 

thank you for your support, but what do you think you are going to do about your current situation? when you do decide to come out I think it would be a good idea to have your girlfriend there to support you. I always imagened just casually bring a male date to a family reuion introducing him to everyone because I'm to much of a coward to confront my parents and siblings with my sexuality.

 

Hehe im only out to one person as well, but i can totally relate.

My parents are both super conservative. Like, "Organize the conservative BBQ nights" conservative. They both are also super Christians, doing the local churches taxes and re-doing the entire church with my dads construction company. There entire lives are just voting conservative and going to church.

One day i "came out" to them that......i vote for the socialist party. Guess what they did? Locked me in the house on voting day. They already call me the "son that turned out wrong" and this is all because of how i vote. They dont even know im Gay, but if they did oooooo boy that would not be fun. If they new my lifes goal is to get married to another guy then they would...wow, dunno. It dosnt help i have a role-model brother and sister, both strait and married.

But all hope is not lost! When it comes to family the younger the person (brothers, sisters, younger aunts/uncles) are generally a good choice to START with. Also it could help to pick someone of the opposite sex, that way they may not feel threatened or emberased by you (to the same extent). As for Parents? Im still struggling with that idea as well. I just cant see it being good for me to come out with them while im living in the suite downstairs. If it helps any, you can try doing it in a non-confrontational way? I wrote a letter to my BFF telling her i was Gay so i could get everything i wanted across without intteruption or spur of the moment things. Im new to the whole "Woo! Im Gay! Tell the world!" thing so i cant help you much more than what ive been told by others Just know you have support here!

 

Wow I just came out online yesterday and I've already met so many nice people, but on to comments on Loveislove's post
-da Loveislove I'm also out to one person
-wow do they really call you the one that turned out wrong, thats how i feel sometimes(*hug*) but did they litteraly say that?
-omg thats how I came out to my BFF

 

i'm not really planning to come out to my family(and relatives) at all.
they're so important to me that i don't think i can go thru the pain
of seeing them reject me...:tears:

 

like Never??????? how can you say that?:eek::eek::eek: what are you gonna do spend your whole life in the closet tiptoeing around their feelings and stupid prejudices?!!!
Common you don't really mean that?! I know my parents will reject me if and when I do come out but there is now way I'm spending my life in the dark! And you shouldn't have to either. I felt the same way when i found out that I was gay but I know It's my responsability to come out eventually! I've spent almost three years in the dark and up untill yesterday I had only told one person!!!

 

Starbite,

First and foremost, you have to remember that you have friends who will always be there for you, no matter your parents reaction. I'd like to think that a parent would always come around for their child, but this is unfortunately not always the case. Really, the only person that can judge that is you. It sounds as if your parents will probably not have an initially positive reaction (although I could be wrong), so you'll need to have people to fall back on until they can hopefully come around.

Also, you mention that you have a brother. Remember that people closer to our generation tend to be much more open and accepting about homosexuality. Your siblings may be initially opposed, but they're probably more likely than your parents to accept you for who you are, just by nature of growing up in a time where homosexuality has been a more open topic. I would consider talking to any siblings BEFORE telling your parents. Again, you know your family better than I do, so take this with a grain of salt, but if your siblings are more likely to accept you, then they can be a valuable resource for you when it come to telling your parents, especially if your parents look up to your siblings so much, in LoveisLove's case.

But talk to your friends and girlfriend who know you're a lesbian and have them ready at their phones if things don't go as well as you hope with your family. Never leave yourself to think that you're alone.

I would (personally) hesitate to tell a conservative family that you're a lesbian with your girlfriend there. The fact that you're gay AND have a girlfriend could be a lot to swallow at one time for them. That's not to say that you shouldn't tell them that you're dating somebody if you want to, but having her there when you come out (though it may make it feel more comfortable for you) can feel like a threatening thing for your family. They need to see that you're still their same daughter that they love and raised. Bringing somebody new into the picture can make it appear as if you're living some kind of secret life. Take baby steps and ease them into it.

Again, coming out to my family was a very different process and experience than it sounds like it will be for you, so take what I say with a grain of salt. I wish you the best of luck and happiness!

 

You are most likely very important to them too. Love is a very strong and powerful thing. It can overcome the most difficult obstacles and survive. I hope one day you change your mind about this. We can help you. (*hug*)

 

[/QUOTE]i'm not really planning to come out to my family(and relatives) at all.
they're so important to me that i don't think i can go thru the pain
of seeing them reject me...:tears:[/QUOTE]

JRNY sorry I posted that stupid comment before:icon_redf. I didn't about how you came out and then went back in... sorry I just rieled up about such matters and my opinions take control

 

thank you, i certainly hope so...

 

i'm not really planning to come out to my family(and relatives) at all.
they're so important to me that i don't think i can go thru the pain
of seeing them reject me...:tears:[/QUOTE]

JRNY sorry I posted that stupid comment before:icon_redf. I didn't about how you came out and then went back in... sorry I just rieled up about such matters and my opinions take control[/QUOTE]

hey it's allright.:icon_wink
and i'm planning to come out to my friends someday, just not my family.
i'm gonna have to wait when it feels right and until then i have no plans to come out to my family first...

 

My mom has suspected the same thing for years. Like you said we are just friends and that is it.

The good news is that my mom has told me several times it would be ok to bring him when I visit. So at least I know she is open to the possibility and will ultimately be ok with it.

My dad is the one I am worried about. I have heard him spew so much crap about homosexuality over the years it pisses me off. He is very passive aggressive about it and always brings it up when I am around.

I am thinking about telling my mom first. I just hate to put her in the position of keeping a secret from my dad, so I will tell her she does not have to keep it a secret and it is ok to tell people. I'll likely tell my dad soon after. Fortunately I am independent from my parents so if things go too bad I am fully prepared to just walk away and give them space.

It is good that your mom suspects. That means it will not be a total shock when you tell her. I suspect it might be a good idea to tell your mom first. It might take a little bit but then you might have an ally on your side for when you tell your father.

 

Haha
My grandmother, grandfather, and uncle would disown me
And my mom would cry everyday.

And then probably commit suicide.

I'm not ever telling anybody.
Dx not until I move out

and live, FAR, FAR, FAR, FAR, FARTHER away.


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