As a male attracted to both sexes, I feel I need a straight answer on this. My mother insists that all women would not even think of sleeping with a man who had ever been with another man (even as a one time contact) unless the woman was attracted to both sexes themselves. Straight women would find the idea of sleeping with a man who had done this "disgusting", she says. She has brought this up long before I told her about my sexuality. Before I spilled the beans, she also would say that she found scenes that involved two men kissing "kind of gross", even though she was never anti-gay or anti-gay rights. I have not ever had any sexual contact with any other man, but theoretically if someone did, this would be a serious issue it seems if they liked women as well. Well, I certainly wouldn't mind being with a woman who liked other women :lol: However, only being able to be with women who were bi would limit one's options greatly. Also, I just couldn't knowingly hide my permanently "totally damaged" status. I'm sure there are lots of people who would be averse to lying. If what she is saying is true, then what do men who are actively bi do? Do they exclusively pursue women who are attracted to both sexes? Do they often just lie to women about it? Is she actually wrong about this statement that all straight women would avoid a man who did this? What would be the best way to approach this issue? Also, can a single woman who had few friends growing up and a somewhat limited social life as an adult make a statement for all women? I would truly find it amazing if this were possible, because there is no way that I or any other man could make any statement for all men.
I pursue people I'm attracted to, if it turns out they have issues with me (possibly) having had sex with a man, that would be a turn of itself for me. But your mother, no disrespect intended, is making stuff up. Yes, some people are prejudiced against (male) bisexuals, but not all. The best way to approach it, imo, is to be honest with the people you date and if they have issues with your bisexuality, see if you can cure any possible ignorance/stereotypes. If not, they're probably not worth being in a relationship with in the first place.
I suppose it's a little bit like biphobia that some lesbians experience. Some find bisexuality gross if they only like one gender, some think it doesn't matter who the other has been with before... So that's the same with straight girls and bisexual guys. Some girls think that his previous partners(even one-time) don't matter, some are put off by him having been with another man. There's no way every straight girl could think the same way about this.
There is some truth to what your mother said: I've spent plenty of time searching online and discussing the subject with female friends, acquaintances, and family members, and yes, it does seem most straight women are either turned off by the idea, or neutral, but very few see it as a positive or attractive trait. Most who do see it as something beneficial tend to be bisexual or lesbian, themselves, and their reasons for seeking out bisexual partners are different. That's not to say there aren't open-minded straight folk out there, but with a lot of misconceptions around, I've stopped prioritizing them. I think most people differentiate between who they're willing to sleep with, date, or marry, too.
Not true at all. In fact a lot of women find it just as hot that men like other men as men do when women are into other women.
No woman can make a statement for all women. Actually, many straight women actually find the idea of two guys kissing kind of hot... But that isn't the same as accepting bisexuality in a potential partner. And it depends on the person. There really is no other answer. How do people go about this? I don't know, but lying is a sucky option. Be honest, and if it bothers the woman, then she isn't right for you and you aren't right for her, and at least you've realized it early enough and can move on. There are straight women out there who will date you, and there are straight women out there who won't.
How do your emotions play into these situations? Can you be satisfied with one partner or does the craving for the other sex always exist?
I actually do notice that a lot of straight women are grossed out by bisexual men, although It's not all of them (though they seem to be the minority sadly). I would be upfront if you can to avoid a long-term relationship ending badly for something you can't help. Or as you said, try to find bisexual women as they tend to be the most open overall.
While I don't exactly have an experience persay, I imagine that most straight women aren't like that, some are of course; so I would just say be honest and hope for the best.
I have had this talk a lot and it does seem that a lot of girls (not all) are slightly bother with the thought of being with someone that's formerly been with guys. I guess it is mostly caused by fear of not being enough, not being able to compete with other guys as a woman and maybe the fear of contracted HIV as people still seem to think that it spread faster among gay guys. I am bisexual but awkwardly, I am always a bit wary when it comes to being with a guy that would have had previous gay relationship, mostly because as a bisexual I know that I find girl more satisfying as a whole so I would stupidly assume that it's the same for guys and that they would never feel fully happy with me and would always crave guys. As a bisexual myself I feel terribly ashamed of these thought as I know they are unfounded but I literally can't help them. To be fair, I would never rule-out bisexual guys as I am sure they would be able to prove me wrong and show me that my fears were unfounded. :icon_redf
