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He wants time :/ what should I do?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by sonick, Jul 3, 2015.

  1. sonick

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    Hello,
    i would like to help me in a problem i have. I was in a relationship with a guy for 3 weeks. The first two weeks were fantastic. However my boyfriend was making innuendos about sex , someting that was making me nervous because I didn't know what to do. So one day I told him that I don't like that and he told me that of course this is for fun and he decided to be serious ( because in his previous relationships he was not). On Monday he asked me why i told him that i dont like it and i told him that firstly we are only three weeks together and i am not prepared neither psychological nor corporal for doing sex. He told me that he didnt tell me something like that and that i should not be ashamed of him and the reason why we are together is that we have no shame. However on Wednesday he told me that when he found out ( 3 weeks ago) that i liked him due to his excitement he made a relationship with me without thinking. He told me also that he has some problems that he should solve otherwise if we were together he would make me feel alone due to his problems and our relationship would be brought to a conclusion. Hence he asked me to give him time for his self so he can solve his problems and then to be again together. It is also important to mention that he told me that he does not want time to go with others only to do something and then back to me but the true reason is his problems. I told him that I wholeheartedly understand him and that if he thinks that it will be better to be apart for this time and then again together it will be okay. He also told me that he will respect my desire of not speaking with him during that time and i said that this would be the best because i will be sad . Now my problem is that these 3 days i am sad because i dont speak with him in facebook . We dont even say a ''hello'' or a ''goodnight''. That makes me not only sad but also disappointed. So this is the reason why i want your help. Do you think that i should tell him that i cannot handle the fact of no speaking? And something else. Because this is my first relationship i dont know if it is right to ask him if he come back. Ok you will tell me that indirectly he said that he will come back but i dont know. I'm nervous and i am afraid because i want him and he showed me that he wants me too. Think that when we were speaking he was holding my hand and when the time came to leave he gave me a hug and to kisses. I want your help.
    And sorry if i am doing mistakes in English.:confused:
     
  2. PatrickUK

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    Did he tell you anything about the problems that he needs to solve? It all seems very mysterious to me and my mind would be racing with questions about it at this point. For me this would be a bigger issue than anything else.

    I think the easiest way to resolve your concerns about him coming back is to maintain contact with him, rather than enforcing a no contact rule that is making you sad and putting more distance between the two of you. Can you text him to say that you have changed your mind about not speaking?
     
  3. sonick

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    He told me that he has many problems and he didnt tell me all of them. For example he told me that he is anxious about the third grade of high school ( in Greece its the last grade before university) and he doesnt believe to his self.Hence he wants time for his self. But i cannot understand it
     
  4. aguynamednick

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    in that case it could also be the sake of his studies.