I never came out to my Dad. He is very religious and I knew he would never accept me being anything less than 100% heterosexual. I came out to my mom during a time when I was really upset, but she got mad at me a few months later and told my dad. He kicked me out and told me to come back when I was ready to grow up and do what God intended. My Uncle is gay. He has been kicked out and disowned by my family. My dad refuses to acknowledge that he has a brother. He says homosexuality is a sinful trend and puts it in the same category as cooking meth. With the supreme court decision, my dad has been posting a lot of stuff on his blog. I usually don't read it, but my uncle has been replying to one of the rants about same-sex marriage. I am glad that my uncle is standing up for himself, a lot of it is aimed towards him, but I know my dad will not change. He says that his brother was taken from him, and blames society. I know that he ran my uncle off because he wouldn't accept him. I haven't talked to my uncle for almost 15 years. I talked to him at a relative's wedding, but my dad ran him off before I could get to know him. My uncle is the only person in my family that isn't homophobic. I have been playing with the idea of emailing him and trying to establish a connection. He has gone through what I am going through and I imagine he can relate. Sorry for the long post. I miss my family. I wish my dad could hate something about me that I had the power to change. Any advice would be appreciated. And sorry for the over use of pronouns. I hope people can understand what I wrote.
i think this is a case where sadly the definition of family is one you have to create for yourself. I think based on the fact that you have an uncle who has been through this exactly it would be wise to contact him in the hopes of forming some kind of relationship with him because frankly support is important and cool that he happens to be a part of your family of origin as he can help you relate to the feelings that you struggle with related to your family’s reactions
I would, yeah. Like you said, he's gone through the same things you have, and with age comes experience, so he'll definitely be able to help you out. And if something happens, you know who to turn to for help. If calling is too sudden for you, a short email regarding your situation is also a start.
Thanks! I have trouble telling the difference between wild ideas caused by lack of sleep and good ideas that could be helpful. I am going to spend some time this morning to track down my uncle. I know his name and the city he lives in so it shouldn't be too much of an issue. I really appreciate the feedback. EC is an awesome group!
