Hello Again! Posted a thread a few months back regarding a lad i spoke to on a dating app. My profile came up on his, although he is straight. We chatted, he was comfortable with me being into lads and suggested that we spoke more and got to know each other as he was also looking for friends. Exchanged numbers, spoke for a week and told him i wouldn't message him, i would let him message me because i felt like i was irritating (we spoke for like 7 days straight). Few days after he blocked me on everything, wouldn't respond to any messages and i was pretty much hurt. Sounds stupid, but i generally was because we got on pretty well and i liked him (just in a friends way). We haven't spoken to each other since. During my travels the other day, i dont know whether he saw me, but i saw him and it brought these weird feelings, like i began shaking but i think its because i'm still angry at the fact i don't know what i did wrong. *Behind my back* my best friend messages him and tells him straight that he hurt me and that his actions were immature, if he had a problem with me he should of just told me instead of leaving me clueless. He tells her that he realizes he acted immaturely, and that it was a genuine mistake with how he behaved with me. He also told her that the reason he blocked me was because he told a girl he was speaking to me and she took it really badly? He also expressed how he realizes that things for out of hand and he is afraid of messaging me directly about it. he had my phone number off her again, and said he would text me in a few days and sort it all out. What would you guys do? would you hear him out and then go from there and see if we can fix things or what? Im 50/50 on whether i should, generally because i think if he's the type of person to drop people just for the chance to get with a girl, then is that the type of person i wanna associate with again? When we were speaking, i thought he was dead nice, and from the messages he sent to my best friend he does seem although he regrets how he dealt with the situation and want's to sort things out :// i just don't wanna put myself in the position where we go back to how we were and for it to happen again because it generally hurt. Finally, do you think i should make it clear, that if it is likely to happen again then i don't want anything to do with him? should i tell him how i felt, or does it seem like he already knows he hurt me :/ thanks in advance!
People make mistakes, even you... Always give a second chance, but set boundaries for your friendship up-front! If he F!?%#-UP again, use your best judgement. When someone admits their mistake and asks for forgiveness, that is a big step. I realize it has not happened yet, but think about it if he does. June
Oh, let me add from what I have seen men are looking for sex not friendship or even a true dating type relationship on dating apps. He probably will come around to it eventually so be ready. He; a few beers and no girl that night lets say. From what I have gathered from these younger generations than mine is intercourse = sex, anything else is not so he can keep his "straight" standing as long as intercourse is not on the menu. A girl can still be a virgin and still play lets say. Many stereotypes come to mind causing "straight" men to be curious and since they build these ideas up in combination with things the GF or wife won't do they then can't stop returning to the candy store once they try the first piece, unless you set the boundaries! Straight men are not hard to figure out, food and sex are usually the first two things on their list. He just got caught by her and had to distance himself because he had those motives more than likely and did not like that she suspected. I hate to sound so cynical about men, but lets face it I have been with one off and on for the last 31 years. True Gay men are different and I do not understand most of them, some think just like any straight man while most seem to be way more complicated. I just don't have a lot of experience with them. June
Thanks for the reply! Yeah i get people mess up, i do all the time! Yeah it is a big step to accept you made a mistake and messed up. Lmao onto your second comment, lmao kinda hope that doesn't happen and if he did try anything after a few beers and no girls it would completely throw me off! He is hot, but i never saw him in that light. Only thing that's irritated me since finding out is why would this girl or whoever have a problem with him talking to me? i made it clear to him that i wasn't in it for anything other than friendship from the start, and he does have other gay friends so why just me? Lets just hope i find out when he decides to message me his apology!
Give him a second chance, I like how he was able to admit he did something wrong. Hopefully, all goes well, but if he screws up again or if something bad happens, just follow your heart (or gut ) and then decide if you want to keep talking to him.
Because she knows and sees a different side of him and if he is typical, she will see you as a threat. You are not like him, nor her, so do not assume they think as you. You made it clear, but what happens? You going to say no? He knows more than likely you will be up for business! Don't kid yourself! Oh, you do see him as "HOT"? What I am saying is put any straight guy who messages you on a dating app as a guy looking for a back-up blow and not much more. I am not saying 100% are like this, but the key words here (dating app) (straight guy) 99.9% I assure you are on there for sex. Now you have a straight guy friend from church, school, job, etc than yes you can have a friend not looking for a blow++++. June
