So this coworker I thought was totally throwing me signs I feel has totally rejected me today. I guess I was wanting other people's thoughts and confirmation. When I say signs, she initiates our convos, touches my hand and arms when we talk, in fact she tries touching me when it's not called for, if we are stood still she presses her body against mine, I catch her looking at me, she asks me out to lunch loads, wants me to go on her cigarette breaks. Said that I'm pretty and sexy. She has in the past brought up that she didn't know if she was straight or gay and that it was about the person. I should mention we are both women and she knows I am a lesbian. So today she was like lets go lunch Friday and I was like cool and then I said my flat Mate is away next week come over one day. She thought about it and I was like it's ok if you don't want to. She said she couldn't cos she was at work, I said "no I mean after work". She said no she couldn't then changed it to maybe and then said all of us could go. I was thinking ah ok she is not interested and said yeah I was going to invite (and I said the other girls name but I won't put it on here) but I was going to ask her when she was back in the office next week. I'm hoping I saved face by adding that I was going to ask the other girl So yeah I feel like this is her definitely saying she is not interested? She doesn't behave like this around the others so I am guessing she feels comfortable with me as a friend? She does have 2 kids but I'm guessing if she really wanted to come then she could of got a baby sitter...
This might be her way of telling you that it's getting too much for her. If she has 2 kids and is uncertain of her sexuality, it sounds reasonable that she might be extremely cautious before going down that road. I honestly think you should try to find someone else because you deserve certainty and life's too short to sit around and wait for her to come to you - after all, she might not even do that.
Thanks for your reply Sek. I have been mulling it over a lot last night. I mean I don't even know if she likes me like that, so now I'm wondering if it's me as a person. Like the lead up to me asking her to come to mine was because she kept saying oh we live close we could go shopping together or 'it's your birthday soon so let's do something' and now she has done this I feel like I really don't trust to say anything as I don't get why she says these things to me if she doesn't mean it. Maybe I really caught her off guard too. I guess I'm just a little hurt right now cos she always goes out of her way to spend more time with me than anyone at work and yet I know she hangs out with other coworkers after work so I'm just hurt and confused by her saying no to me. I'm now thinking is it she doesn't like my company that much or she does like me like that but it's like what you said about her sexuality and anything happening.
You say she initiates the conversations and seems to throw you signs she may be confused about her sexuality and when you invited her round to hers she froze in case something happened. She said she likes shopping what about inviting her to go shopping with you first and then maybe head back to yours for a drink telling her you'll cook a pizza, get to know her a bit more outside work invite her to go shopping, bowling or just for food don't get upset if she doesn't want to head back to yours straight away. Take it slow do other stuff then invite her back to yours when you've finished the day. Slowly slowly catch her heart if you know what I mean.
I guess I went in both feet first with inviting her to mine straight away. Guess it's enough to freak any girl out. I'm hoping she still mentions doing something for my birthday and I can redeem myself by asking to go somewhere like you say- bowling of for a drink. When we go out for food she usually gets more relaxed so that would probably be best. Although today we barely spoke but in that time she asked what I was doing this weekend and if I was going to help my flat mate pack so at least she is not scared to mention it.
