Hello. Knowing things you shouldn't know could be a burden. One of the things I stumbled upon is that my own sister is a lesbian. I know it for sure and I know that she has struggled throughout the years and went through depression. to the best of my knowledge no one else knows, but i'm quite sure and beyond a doubt, and I also know who was her love interest during college and about a major falling out they had possibly because of her confessing. Now, one would think that her being a lesbian who went through a lot of shit would make her a more understanding person, but that is unfortunately not the case. I mentioned before that I am in a pretty conservative society that is not tolerant at all. I know my sister to be a very judgemental, and aggressive person. I have heard her on more than one occasion gossiping about people who are possibly gay, from relatives and what not, and she never passes an opportunity to basically bash them. This hurts, as I see that I would not be accepted if I ever actually decide that i'm gay, even by my own sister who is a lesbian. How does that work ? are people very bitter when they go through things or is my sister basically a bitch ? Being the way I am, I am very understanding and delicate when it comes to people struggling with sexuality, and I certainly wouldn't engage in gossip or name calling. never mind that the people she talks about are 90% of the time straight, as a particular relative of mine whom she called a fag when talking to me on the phone is now engaged to a woman. sigh.
I think that she wants to cover herself up so much that she pretends to be homophobic. She may be so scared that she feels the need to fake being homophobic so none of the other conservative people wouldn't notice. Just my thoughts.
Your sister could be the big B. She could be unhappy with herself and tries to belittle others to feel better. Or, she could just be reacting in the manner that she feels is expected by the "conservative" people around her. She could also be judging them because she feels judged. I was raised in an extremely conservative, fundamentalist Christian religion - the first time I heard about homosexuality was in a sermon. My parents have since left that church (I did the minute I turned 18), and relaxed their stance on a lot of things. While they accepted my brother moving in with his girlfriend, they'd rain hellfire on me. That sort of inequality can make you crazy, especially if you're prejudging someone's reactions.
This. I had been called gay in primary school, even though I didn't kow I wasn't straight then. So from that point I grabbed every opportunity to "prove" to others that I'm not gay. And the best way to do it was to bash someone who was suspected to be gay in the class. It's not "being a bitch", it's a fucked up protection mechanism.
Yeah that pretty much covers it. A lot of closeted people will act homophobic, whether it's denial, or an act to cover there tracks so their own homosexual thoughts aren't discovered. I personally never acted homophobic, but if someone accused me of being a lesbian, I would freak out. I was extremely touchy back than, calling me a lesbian was pretty much a guaranteed way of getting me riled up. Now look at me! It's just how people react to not being able to "be" themselves.
Yes. She could be afraid that if she doesn't act homophobic, people might suspect that she's not straight. Especially if that's what she feels she has to do to blend into the conservative culture. She could be consumed with frustration and hate directed at herself and is projecting that on other people.
This rings pretty true for me too, except I didn't go the route of bashing supposedly gay people, but I would instead agree when people talked about their attraction to women. "Are you into women?" "Why aren't you in a relationship?" ... My answers would be something like: "Yup." "Not ready for a financial commitment." These are clearly just smoke screens for me, but I still use them today. And these arguments are becoming less valid as I become more successful at work so....I'm still working on how to move forward.
