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is she in denial?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by lim265, Jul 8, 2015.

  1. lim265

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    hi,

    sooooo, i have told my mum recently that i thought i was gay and she was of course shocked but was asking questions like are you sure but was trying to stay supportive saying that she will love me no matter what. then there have been some less that positive times with her like when she has asked "do you like 'a' (one of my friends) as more than a friend' then i would say no and she would i say 'you see'. i have asked her how she actually feel about me being gay but she has just avoided the question one way or another.

    i dunno if she is just coming to terms with everything or if she is disappointed or angry and i no longer feel comfortable being myself around her anymore. she has always been there for me for support and what-not but and i don't know whether i should just give her time or really confront her about it and what to say to her if i do.

    also i feel quite alone as everyone i know is very much straight and conforming to the norms as far as i can tell (apart from a few people who i suspect maybe gay/bi). in my whole school there are only a very few openly gay/bi people and i really want to get to know other LGBT people irl and in similar situations

    any advice would be really appreciated.
     
  2. YinYang

    Regular Member

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    She is probably in shock or trying to get used to the idea that you are gay. Just give her some time and space, eventually she will get used to it. Maybe you could talk to her a little more after a couple days or weeks about who you are and how she feels. Don't worry about it. (*hug*)
     
  3. bibeauty28

    bibeauty28 Guest

    I have recently come out to everyone this year. My mom was one of the last people I told. It's been a few months now and we don't really talk about my being Bi at all. I know she is still coming to terms and processing the info. The way I see it is, it took me the better part of eight years to come to terms with my own sexuality. Why shouldn't I give my mom as much time as she needs to digest what I told her?

    So, if I were you I would just let your mom accept your sexuality in her own time. If she has always supported you as you say than she'll probably come around. But when she does, well, that is pretty much up to her.

    At first I thought my mom was disappointed in me being bi. But I asked my sister (she always tells it like it is so I trust her completely) and she said that in no way does she think my our mom is disappointed in me at all. I then came to realize that I was projecting my own feelings and worst fears onto my mom. I thought that she was pulling away from me (Which scared me cause we're so close), and I thought that maybe she was a bit disgusted with me. But as the months went on I found that none of what I thought was true. Things are back to normal for us. We still don't talk about anything LGBT or me being bi, but it all good. I am trying to be patient with her and know that one day it won't be a big deal whatsoever.

    I too feel alone as no one I know is gay/bi. I looked into meetup groups online but unfortunately in my small town there are no LGBT groups. But I bet if you looked into meetup groups where you live (meetup is world wide) you would find some LGBT groups. Meetup is a great way to meet and make friends and do fun things. I would encourage you to give it a look. That could help for sure.

    I hope this has helped. I wish you all the best, lim265. Be patient. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

    (*hug*)
    Aubrey
     
  4. lim265

    Regular Member

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    thank you for your advice, ill try to give her some time(*hug*)