Well as many of you know my boyfriend died in February and being i had no income or car i had to move back home to Minnesota. Now for personal reasons I am applying for SSD and my hearing is in September. Now no matter what happens I want to move to the nearest biggest city and with disability or a job. In order to actually get a job there thought throughout a job agency I have to move there first. So now this opportunity comes along where i could move ASAP. I became friends with this gay guy who is somewhat over the top and has a loud personality but I could live with it and just see it how it goes by staying with him. So his lease ends in September and his landlord has no problems with someone else staying there and if it did not work out oh well i tried and got away from my family for awhile. In exchange for living there I would clean the apartment because he hates cleaning and I hate messes so I am more than thrilled to do it. But before I make sure a possibly life changing decision i want to get other's advice. I know I am putting myself in a potentially unhealthy situation and there are risks involved but I think if i can get my foot in the door it is a chance to achieve my goal of independence in a way. I am gonna gain a income in any legal way possible by disability check or a job and this seems like something I am seriously thinking about doing.
How much time have you spent with this guy? Does he respect boundaries? Where did you meet him if you don't mind me asking? Do you have friends nearby that could help you if he tries to take advantage of you or acts stupid?
What's SSD? All I know is my MacBook has one :lol: Have you met this guy in person yet and how long have you known him? Before you actually make the move I'd advise just going to stay with him for a week so that you know you'll get on.
I known him for a few weeks and meet him in person once and spent most of the day with him. He is a workaholic, non judgmental, nice and fun. I meet him online which is not the best thing but if you understand that my circumstances make it harder to meet people in my small messed up town. He used to live in my hometown and hated it with passion and of course I did background check on him right away and he is clean and I have many friends and family that lives nearby in case anything bad happens or if it just does not work out. It seems like the best thing for me but of course with any situation I use caution at every turn. ---------- Post added 9th Jul 2015 at 01:01 PM ---------- It is Social Security disability and if approved by a Judge it will help me in the meantime. But either way I am getting out of the hellhole I am in September. I have meet him for the first time in person and he is decent human being with no criminal background which I checked. Well i am not signing any lease as of yet so if it does not work out I can just move back home in the meantime. So I am just gonna bring the basics if i do try living with him and see what happens from there. I talked with a job counselor also and it is recommended I live in the town that I want a job in which as hard as it is I respect that and living with him would help me get a job especially if I don't get approved for disability benefits.
It sounds like I would recommend meeting him a few more times. Though, it is hard to make it sound like you are not dating or interested in doing so. Small town MN could make it hard to meet people, so I don't fault you. Are there any LGBT events coming up or centers which have meetings? I still worry about people being mentally stable or not. That's just me.
I might just risk it because in all honestly right now i have nothing to lose if it does not work out. The sad thing is all the lgbt stuff is all in this big city and the only place i could go to within a hour away. My family treats me like shit and nothing has changed. Same old bullshit so I willing take some risks as long as they are not harmful to me or anybody else. I getting into depression again just living in this fucked up town i hate with passion and i know it sounds like i am doing this out of desperation and that can be a bad thing but I done a google search and a background check on this guy and he is pretty clean. So it seems safe and ok at least take the chance.
I was leaning towards yes anyways knowing you and your judgment. I am extra paranoid because I was raised with a "safety and security conservative" father. I get the family rejection. In fact, my parents invited an "ex-gay pastor" to talk to their pastor(my old pastor). Everyone is circling the wagons and getting their story straight following the marriage decision.
No problem i get it. I am just frustrated don't mean to act like I am annoyed by your opinions. My parents are ok with my sexuality it is just my boyfriend died and I come home and they expect me to change my way of thinking because he is gone especially my mom. Yeah my boyfriend did influence my perspective on life but in a heathy way and I refuse to change for them and I am not gonna change for anyone cause I like who I am and that is not gonna change.
