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I Have No Idea What Is Going On

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by bipride, Jul 9, 2015.

  1. bipride

    Regular Member

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    Long story short, yesterday I asked out this boy that I have had mainly sexual but also emotional attraction to out, and while I hoped with all my heart that he would accept, I was convinced that he would decline, that's what all my past crushes did...

    But no, he said that while he didn't want a formal relationship, he said that he wanted to do "things". Really though, and I don't want to sound like I feel sexually attracted to anything that moves, I do mainly feel sexual attraction for him, but emotional as well.

    Yesterday night, we agreed that he would come to my house today, which he did. So far so good. I didn't know if he wanted to, you know, explore, but I was excited all the same. Please note that we are both 15 (both turning 16 next month, our birthdays are 4 days apart) and the age of consent over here in the UK is 16, but not even the UK is so harsh to be fussed over a month.

    Yes, so we, erm, did it. It was my first time today and his second, and I am happy to say that it went really well, but I was trembling with nerves to start with, which I guess is normal. We didn't go so far as to, well, do anal, but we did a lot together so yeah.

    My point is we are not even going out!!! I asked him yesterday and the following day we have made love! I feel guilty but my main concern is that I don't know if I'm ever going to see him again now that I've left secondary school and am going off to college. We live like 1 minute away from each other and I feel that I need to firm up how we both stand. Are we serious? Or was today a desperate teenager moment to be forgotten?

    I have no idea what to do and don't know where I stand. When we were, exploring, it seemed passionate with how he touched me but it just feels so weird, especially as it was my first time with a boy or a girl.

    Any advice? I'd like to just sit with him and discuss it all but after today's performance that seems unlikely. (Don't worry about the safe sex issues, we both made sure that we were responsible.)
     
  2. Aspen

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    Talk to him. Ask him what he's looking for and why. Is he not looking for a formal relationship because of college, because he's in the closet, or because he just doesn't want one? Then you have to decide if that's something you can live with. Brace yourself that he might just be looking for friends with benefits.

    Until you can do that, you probably should stop having sex. I'm not saying forever, but until you're on the same wavelength about expectations and in agreement of what you're looking from each other.
     
  3. PatrickUK

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    Do you have his phone number? Could you call or text him and ask to meet up again... but this time to see where you stand, rather than to have sex. If he only lives one minute away from you it should be possible to meet again without too much hassle.

    I would encourage you to take care before you get too involved in a sexual relationship though. It's easy to get carried away in the moment and then regret it later because there was no real spark or connection with the other person. I know you find him attractive, but it's better to really know the person you are having sex with.

    You said you feel guilty. Can you explain what you are feeling guilty about?
     
  4. bipride

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    Thanks both of you.
    I have him on facebook and it's not difficult to talk to him at all.
    The thing is, I didn't even suggest sex with him, I think he wanted it more but I had been curious for a while like any 15 year old.
    I still feel guilty because, well, we were/are friends. Gosh it sounds so bad written down like that but that's how it is.