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Christian mom caught me kissing another girl?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Kenzi18, Jul 10, 2015.

  1. Kenzi18

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    Ok so I could've sworn that I posted this ten minutes ago, but when I look at the threads I can't see it? So I guess it didn't work but I'm sorry if it shows up twice.

    i am 17, and i go to a very religious school and i'm from a very religious household. A Couple days ago, my parents were supposed to be gone, so i invited this girl who i have a thing with to come over and hang out. we were kissing on the couch when my mom walked down into the basement, because she had canceled dinner plans.

    she immediately threw the other girl out, and literally couldn't even look at me. Yesterday, she dragged me to go talk to a pastor at our church, and told him what happened. it was so humiliating. he is normally a nice guy but all he did was read off some verses that were so incredibly horrible, i felt like crying.

    now she refuses to look or talk to me. I'm at such a confusing spot right now because i really like the other girl but everyone is telling me that its wrong, and i feel so disgusting and like i just want to throw up, and i just really need someone right now and she won't even LOOK at me.

    i guess i just don't know what to do, shes not letting me talk to the one person i want to talk too (the girl i was caught kissing) Any advice?

    P.S. im sorry if you are sick of hearing questions like this, but i really have no where else to go to for advice.
     
  2. Chiroptera

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    Hey Kenzi18,

    I'm sorry that this happened to you.

    First of all, remember that there is nothing wrong with you. You are totally normal, and there is nothing wrong in loving another person, regardless of orientation or gender. If someone says otherwise, unfortunatelly that person is blinded by prejudice. After alll, you aren't hurting anyone with it (if someone is mad at you because of that, it isn't your fault: Their prejudice is to blame).

    If you are old enough (i don't know the laws of your country)/have money to do it, have you considered moving out to your own place?

    If that isn't possible, can you try talking to your parents?

    If they refuse to listen to reason, unfortunatelly you will need to live with them until you are able to move out to a place without these problems. Until them, you may want to meet that girl in her place, or a neutral place that will avoid problems to both of you.

    Again, i'm sorry that you are facing these problems. We are here for anything you need, anytime.

    Hugs (*hug*)
     
  3. PatrickUK

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    There is nothing wrong with you and you are not disgusting, I promise you. It was wrong of your mom to react in such a silly way and it was wrong of the pastor to cherry pick a few passges (I can even image what they were) that seem to condemn and devalue you as a person. It was very wrong, because he could have chosen an entirely different set of passages that would be generous and affirming towards you, but both he and your mom seem to be blinded by prejudice. Just remember, that what you have heard and experienced is opinion and not fact.

    I don't know if you are still dependent on your parents for support and security, but at the age of 17 you are old enough to have a mind of your own. While you live with them you will have to play by their rules and standards I'm afraid, but if you want to meet this girl again at a neutral place there is no reason why you shouldn't.
     
  4. Kenzi18

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    Thank you guys, to answer your question, no I'm not able to move out because I'm financially dependent on my parents for now and for college, and it's also not legal where I live until I'm 18. But honest thank you guys so much for answering, it means a ton to me.
     
  5. resu

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    Just remember that you did nothing wrong, but because the circumstances are so negative, you may have to just try and bide your time. Keep your eyes on the prize (college and some real freedom).
     
  6. Chiroptera

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    You're welcome! I agree with resu and Patrick. Remember you did nothing wrong, and in time, you will be free.
     
  7. internetperson

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    Wow. I'm so sorry. First off please know that nothing is wrong with you. Maybe try sitting your mom down (if it's safe) and telling her how this is okay and how love is love. You have a mind of your own. I'm so sorry this happened. I live in a Christian household and I'm honestly so scared to come out, but since I have accepted myself, I have confidence. If this girl is someone you go to school with, you'll see her eventually. I'm sorry if this is bad advice but just remember all of the people and I on this thread support you and accept you and understand you. I hope everything is going to be okay. I'm rooting for you :slight_smile:
     
  8. Open Arms

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    I'm sorry you're going through this. I'm a Christian and know the negative viewpoints held
    about homosexuality by many conservative Christians.

    Where is your father in all this?

    I suggest you seek help with this dilemma from Gay Christian Network which is an online support community for gay Christians. You will be loved and affirmed there and guided as to what to do. Your Mom could also get help there for her shock over your homosexual desires. There are lots of reasons I believe the Bible is NOT actually anti-gay as we were taught to believe.

    You might suggest to your Mom and Pastor that they look up the apology to gays by Alan Chambers, formerly the leader of Exodus. Also, why did Exodus fold? (Look this up for yourself and be encouraged.) I like the Matthew Vines talk to the Church on You Tube as well.

    Your Mom and Pastor are not responding as Jesus would, I can assure you of that.
    They can rant and rave all they like, you will form and live by your own beliefs.

    I wouldn't want you to become discouraged .... or unloving towards your Mom. Maybe you could apologize for sneaking behind her back?? but not for being attracted to this girl.
     
    #8 Open Arms, Jul 12, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2015