1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Feel Alone and Can't Talk To Almost Anyone

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by A Person, Jul 10, 2015.

  1. A Person

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2013
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Jersey
    I've tried talking to a lot of friends about this, and only one really understood so I thought I'd see what you guys have to say.

    I feel lonely, alone, like no one wants me. This is usually what I would say to a friend (usually online) when I was upset. They almost always respond with "You don't need a boyfriend to be happy you know". Now, why is is that they immediately think I mean a significant other? I know very well that a relationship is not the key to making me happy and I could care less about it.

    What I mean is that most of my friends don't talk to me. They don't do anything with me. They say they're busy or that what we had planned can't happen anymore. Then not long afterwards, I see them on Snapchat or Instagram or something. I can't help but feel left out. I already have social anxiety so even going to do these things is scary without people I trust and enjoy being around. Now I feel like no one is telling me the truth, and I've basically been locked up in my room since school has been out, alone and upset.

    I'm not sure what to do really. I voiced how I felt to three online friends, since they're the only ones who take the time to talk to me now, and only one really understood what I meant. What do you think? What do I do?
     
  2. mstank

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 10, 2015
    Messages:
    7
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago
    Gender:
    Female
    I don't know if I understand exactly what you're going through or how you're feeling but I can relate a little bit. My parents moved my junior year of high school and I had no friends and all of my old friends were busy with their new lives so all I did was sit in my room on my computer and become depressed. What I learned about myself was that I can be happy all on my own. I learned that my feelings were valid because I felt them and that I could do what I wanted and would be happy even if the only person I shared it with was myself. I picked up a hobby, mostly just a lot of crafting, but it kept me having something to do. I focused on my schoolwork and tried to do some community service (I was thinking of what could help me get into college) and I did it on my own. It took my MONTHS to get back to feeling a little ray of hope that I could be happy again. And then I guess my happiness started attracting friends, but they were like me. They understood that friendship takes time and effort and they were real friends that are there for me through thick and thin. I'm sorry that you are going through this. High School can really suck at times because everyone is trying to be someone different from who they really are. But when you are yourself people will notice that and you'll probably find amazing friends who understand your social anxiety who will listen to you when you need it and who will give you an amazing understanding friendship that will last years.

    I'm sorry if this is long and rambling and that it doesn't help you at all. I just want you to know that you are not alone in how you are feeling.
     
  3. Celatus

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2014
    Messages:
    542
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    US
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Hey there, I totally get that. After senior year nobody talks to anybody haha. So I'm kinda just passing time alone over the summer until college starts. It's not all that bad, but I'm getting kind of stir crazy just being in my house and going to work. Boring stuff :/
    Hang in there buddy, you're not alone :slight_smile:
     
  4. Hobbes

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2015
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    2
    Location:
    The World that Never Was
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    I don't they are your friends if they don't talk to you nor include you in.......any thing that they do? I think it's time to look at the relationships that you have with them.

    I know that this means that you are going to be alone. But, you need to find some people who like you for you. Yes, I know you have social anxiety (see quote). My advice? Find something you like to do and find others who like it as well. You'll be able to make conections with them. And quite honestly, it can be as simple as reading. All my friends I got because of my love for books. I was in the library all the time and I started talking to other people that were there all time. And that's how I got my nerdy, geeky, amazing friends.

    Nothing is easy and finding good friends might just be the hardest of all.
     
  5. Typhoon

    Typhoon Guest

    Joined:
    May 10, 2013
    Messages:
    595
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    All but family
    It happens. Generally speaking that happens to me a lot, and sometimes it is worse because they rely on me a lot, some by dumping their problems on me, and most by using me for notes or exam help. Out of several hundred like-minded ''friends'' I have, very, very few have asked me to go out with them - and they did this without me asking. Today was one of those days, and this has only been happening this year. Previous summers were pretty quiet for me. I asked the others / the clingy parasites who all of a sudden had stopped messaging because exams were over - and they all evasively did everything they could to avoid saying no but saying yes at the same time.

    OP you need to find people you'd relate to easily. Go out, go to clubs and meet with people around your age range - some are easy to talk to and engage in discussion. You're likely to make some new friends that way, the sort who'll happily go out with you etc. I also know that in this regard sports helps. In particular soccer - even if you don't like sports, you can still pitch in, and enjoy the company of others and get to know other people.

    It's a shame we live so far apart, or I'd definitely have hung out with you. That feeling of complete loneliness and the permanent question of whether your friends are actually ''friends'' - I understand it, but a lot of them are so used to hanging out with other people that this is alien to them. It is only worsened when they get on social media and rub the good time they're having in your face.
     
  6. A Person

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2013
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Jersey
    Thanks guys. My one friend who talks to me actually asked me to come out with them next Friday, and he's a good friend so I should have fun then. We'll see how that goes.
     
  7. Footnerd

    Footnerd Guest

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2015
    Messages:
    44
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Went through the same thing in school, it was a rather homophobic school and during and after school I was simply not spoken too except by the odd teacher. Simple as that, I would not use my voice for days. They make it very clear when they sense or know someone is gay and it continued into the workplace as well.