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Asking out a transgender who may not be attracted to me?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Rhinestoneeyes, Jul 11, 2015.

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  1. Rhinestoneeyes

    Rhinestoneeyes
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Washington
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Hello, I'm a 15 year old bisexual male and lately I've had some problems where I have been wanting to start a relationship with my transsexual best friend. He identifies as a boy, and has told me in the past he is attracted to women, and everyone at his school thinks he is lesbian. He had told me one day that he really liked me and said he had a crush for a while, and explained that he has never been with a guy before, but he felt like he had something for me. Then he said he was thinking he was bisexual but perhaps may not be, and was just bicurious. I didn't ever think of him in that way at the time but a month has passed since I had talked about that with him, and I'm starting to have the same feelings, I think he's shy but so am I and I don't know a good way to bring it up, or talk about how I feel about him because I have the biggest crush. I also don't know if he still feels the same way about me but I also have no reason to believe he doesn't. He's never been with a guy before so I know I have to be the one to "guide him" or make him feel comfortable. If anyone has any advice on how to ask him out, even though he may be uncomfortable first time being with a guy, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you.
     
    #1 Rhinestoneeyes, Jul 11, 2015
  2. ArlettBaySB

    ArlettBaySB
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    Everything will be fine and things will go naturally if you just ask him out. From what you said I do believe, you have some chance in this thing, but if "no" is the answer, it's okay too.
    If you guys are friends, I'd suggest to try to hang out some more with him and talk a lot to figure out what you both like, maybe in one of these conversations you even find the courage to ask him out!
    And there's absolutely no problem about having to be the one to "guide him", is it?
    I see no problem in that. We all need that at some point when we try new things. No matter which gender you're referring to...or what is the new thing you're trying.
    I think: If you have the biggest crush for this guy, you should go for it. First times are almost always a little bumpy uncomfortable but the thing is that you both have a good time with each other and like each other (and I kind of think, you already do.)
    So don't be afraid...
     
    #2 ArlettBaySB, Jul 11, 2015
  3. Fentrion

    Fentrion
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    Hello.

    You should be able to figure out how to ask him out, if you want to.

    Perhaps you should ask first ask yourself, do you really want to be with someone who is uncertain if he finds you attractive or not? Sexual attraction is crucial, and believe me, feeling desire for someone is as important as feeling desired.

    If you do want to be with him nevertheless, you will probably have to be the "giver" in sexual matters.

    Still, be careful with getting emotionally invested in someone who doesn't quite know what he wants. You are very young, and you should have lots of opportunities ahead of you.

    Good luck
     
    #3 Fentrion, Jul 11, 2015
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