So, my dad is driving me crazy. He keeps talking about dating (girls, I'm still in the closet) and I can't take it any more. I think his biggest issue is that he was married by the time he was my age. I know he wants thr best for me, but I just want him to leave me alone. He has made me set a goal with him to ask a girl out at this church thing tomorrow and he going to ask if I did it. He told it doesn't matter if she says no, but all the same. I just want him to let me be me. I'm not him, I don't want to be like him. What should I do or is there anything I can do?
You are a grown man. Your dad can't make you ask out a girl. And you don't have to. You are an independent person.
Before I finally came out to my mom, she started amping up the "where are the girls? Why aren't you dating? She's a nice girls, she's into you, ask her out.." stuff and it eventually became unbearable. I'm certainly not going to tell you when you should come out - if you do - but it could be your only solution. :|
I know this probably doesn't help but I dream of having parents who would push me to date someone, even if it was someone who I'm not attracted to. As for your situation, you're old enough where you should be able to ignore his pushing and do your own thing. He can't force you to ask anyone out.
Just tell him you're not interested in the girl and you're not going to ask somebody out when you're not interested. It's your life, it's not up to him to decide. Maybe just tell him you're happy where you're at now. I'm sure he has good intentions here, he thinks you want a girlfriend and he's trying to help you out. Do you know his views on LGBT stuff?
Tell him, your career or study is on top of your list at the moment and you haven't thought about dating yet. That's what I've been doing since i stop dating girls...
"Dad, I know you want me to be happy, but please let me decide when and whom I want to date. Stop pushing this matter. I don't tell you what to do with your private life, so please don't tell me what to do with mine."
I don't even think sexuality is irrelevant to this situation, since I don't even want to date a gender I'm attracted to right now- and I'm older than you by a few years. So, really age has nothing to do with it. You just have to tell him you're not ready for this.
^Literally what my mom did, also (except with boys). Once there was a picture on Facebook that one of my gay male friends posted of us and she asked me why "I didn't date this nice looking boy in this picture". I about choked. When I finally came out to her she was asking me again why I wasn't seeing any guys and I just flat out said that I wasn't interested in them. And apparently neither my mom OR dad were surprised by that -____-
here are your options: 1. Dad i'm gay im not into girls, i like guys. sorry. 2. Dad, seriously i need to focus on getting my own place, getting out of school and finding a job. i have enough pressure on me right now without trying to throw dating in the mix. i dont want to date right now but thanks for your concern but i really have a lot of stuff on my plate right now and dating is not one of them. 3. Come out to a girl in church and use her as your beard until Dad gets off your back. 4. Dad, i asked Kristie out and she said no. ok, you happy now. now i feel like crap. 5. Dad i know you're concerned but i got this. it will happen when it will happen. 6. get a friend outing going. ask a few girls and a few guys to hang out for the movies or something or bowling. your'e in church so it's good for young church people to bond and hang out. then you have killed two birds with one stone. when dad asks you if you asked someone , you can say you asked some girl and a bunch of you guys from the church may be going out for bowling but you gotta see who can all make it and that's it a great way for the youth in the church to get to know each other. then you can hang out in the group and its not a group date. so it's a win win for all. then you can just fizzle things out with the girl but since it will be a group thing its not like a date anyway. what dad dont know wont hurt him. ---------- Post added 13th Jul 2015 at 07:15 PM ---------- the real thing is bro you're 21 and dad is treating you like a kid. dad is forcing you to ask girls out cuz dad hasn't seen any girls around and probably doesnt want to face the fact that you're gay. he may think you are socially awkward and lack self esteem with the ladies. it not that, but your'e probably interested in the guys in church and not the girls. but your'e grown. until you can get out of his house, just fake it and passify him until he gets off your back and until you can move out or come out. if you think you may get kicked out or if they may do a gay exorcism on you, just dont come out until you can be safe.
Thanks to everyone for your help, I'll try to get this out of the way. BiKate, first your avatar is the most amazing I've ever seen. Second, when I was fifteen or so he found out that I was looking at pictures of guys on the computer. He asked " Is this what you are? A faggot? Because if you are I swear I'll beat it out of you" Last I knew, that's where stood on LGBT, at least when it came to me. But, I am off to college within the next month or two. (I still can't find the date when the semester starts.) I'll probably end up lying and said I talked to some girl and she said no. The good thing is there were more then just our group. We met up with other group so, I'll say I talked to one of them. And she said that she was busy with work and because she lives over an hour away that she would get back to me sometime next week. (The carnival in town this week and everyone is super busy with that because there's a parade and people are working on floats and things like that.)
wow, he said he would beat it out of you. that's scary. i would just tell him what he wants to hear until you can be out on your own in a safe place. he sounds like a very abusive person. and to call his own son a "F*GGOT. well that is just unacceptable.
well your condition are not very different from mine. My dad also death threat me when i was 17 after he bust some adult male clips i have in my flash drive. :lol: good luck for you sir i wish it goes the way you expected (the good way of course)
