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Scared of... touching my boyfriend D:

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Void Puppy, Jul 13, 2015.

  1. Void Puppy

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    Hey all.

    So some of you may or may not know, but I recently got together with this really cute friend of mine. This sorta developed slowly, but it's reached a peak to where we officially consider ourselves boyfriends.

    However, he's been out of town for a month and we have yet to meet in person after this development.

    We both can't wait to see each other again, and he keeps saying things like "you better be ready for me to tacklehug you on sight" and stuff like that. It's really cute and flattering and in my mind I can imagine it happening and it makes me giddy with joy.

    However, it also kind of scares me. I've never really had that kind of intimate feeling with anyone. I've had sexual encounters in the past, but strangely enough none of them ever included cuddling or hugging or anything like that. I have never actually hugged anyone as far back as I can remember :s


    It's not that I don't want to do stuff like hug, hold hands, all that. In my mind it seems amazing, especially with someone I care a lot about. However, I'm scared to death of it for a reason which still alludes me.

    I don't want to disappoint him or act weird/awkward in front of him this weekend when he comes back (we're going to see a movie together).

    Any tips for dealing with this?
     
  2. Lazuri

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    Honestly, you should talk to him about it, not us.
     
  3. Feln

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    I might not be an expert, I'm in similar situation, but I told my boyfriend, that I'm a bit scared to be intimate, but I really want to hug and stuff, he's very understanding we talked about it. We're gonna meet in 4 weeks, but I don't think we'll feel awkward after talking about it.
     
  4. Void Puppy

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    I mentioned it and he didn't really address it :c
     
  5. Jax12

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    Maybe you'll know once you experience it, who knows?
     
  6. Dillno21234

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    I think it's normal to be nervous. Especially if it's the first time being close with him. I think it's something that will get easier with time, and if he's a good guy, he'll understand any awkwardness at first.
     
  7. Eveline

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    Eventhough this might simply be nerves, I will assume that there is an element of social anxiety here. Coping with specific anxieties is usually treated through exposure to the source of the anxiety in a gradual manner. How do you feel about hugging your parents or siblings? It's usually helpful to start exposing yourself to the source of anxiety using someone you feel safe with. Hugging is in general something that you can do with anyone you are close to including girl friends... with regards to your boy friend, I would suggest to start off with something relatively easy like holding his hand or maintaining eye contact and do so until you feel comfortable, then decide on an action that you feel is a tiny bit harder and move on from there.

    Good luck and I hope everything works out well,

    (*hug*)

    Yael
     
  8. Void Puppy

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    Thanks for the advice :3

    I never hug family members. I literally can't remember the last time I hugged anyone. I think holding his hand would be a lot Easier. I just don't want to seem like I'm disinterested in him or anything like that
     
  9. Cedar

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    Maybe you should mention to him that you're more comfortable with hand-holding for now and it would be nice if he respected that, he can tackle hug you when you're ready for it. Try to ease your way to hug status, it's hard for me to hug people too so I get where you're coming from.