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A Very Unfair Crush

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by A Lone Wanderer, Jul 13, 2015.

  1. A Lone Wanderer

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    I am at wits end. (get ready for a good old cliche story)

    Starting about two years ago, I got a crush on my friend. Fast forward to the year after during marching band. We're in marching band together. Things progress fine and so does the school year. However, band brings us much closer, and we become best friends. He even ends up coming out during the school year, and starts dating a senior in colorguard. I was sick the day we assigned roommates for our huge band trip, so I was stuck with 2 other random people. Turns out he decided to room with his boyfriend and another one of our friends who also roomed with them so they could be together (rooms were sorted by gender, it's high school, there are also 2 beds that can fit 2 people per room). Well his mom actually ended up finding out about his boyfriend, so she requested he be moved into a different room. It was mine, damn it.

    Because I didn't know the other 2 boys in our room, and he knew them but didn't like them, we slept together. Things went on fine, and nothing really happened. He wakes up before me on night 2 and heads down into the hotel lobby. When I wake up, one of the guys is sitting there laughing and says "Dude, you guys were intertwined when I woke up! It was so damn funny." Immediately blushing, I reply saying "That's embarrassing." And walk off.

    Once marching season ends, we have a slow concert season. I only see him for the rest of the year during band class, another class with a specific name that I won't mention in-case he reads this, and lunch. The few conversations we had throughout the rest of the year was great, though. He eventually broke up with his senior boyfriend, though. He even admitted that he woke up to me cuddling with him while I was asleep, talk about embarrassing! One thing that irked me, though, was he questioned all guys' sexualities. He did this in a manner of "Oh wow, they're hot. Do you know if they are gay, _____?" (the blank being me) He seemed to show interest in every besides me. He even ended up getting back together with one of his exes from a few years ago when he identified as bisexual. They eventually broke up this Summer after the school year ended, though.

    Still, why did he think everyone else was attractive, hot, cute, funny, amazing, rebellious, and any other quality he liked? I decided to tell him I liked him not too long ago. I probably went about it wrong, because before I told him, we were flirting heavily (in my opinion) over text. It was crazy! He was also complimenting me so much. Then, when I revealed I liked him, he said that he had "no idea I liked him, he would keep it secret incase I didn't want anyone to know," etc. etc. I was thankful he didn't get mad, but I was kind of intrigued as to why he didn't show interest back. I'm not being cocky or anything, I've never had a relationship! But WHY did he like everyone... but me? Maybe something's wrong with me?

    The friend that originally was to room with him also stated during a one on one with me when we were discussing our concers for his very bad relationship with the senior he was dating that he "tried to go after every gay guy in the school- but you." My crush and I actually met an incoming freshman (for marching band) not long after I revealed my crush to him and he has taken a sudden liking to him. Not only am I a tad jealous, but I was surprised at how fast he dived into this. I am also concerned the same thing will happen to him that will happen to me, but that's a different story.

    TL;DR

    1. Why does he like everyone but me?
    2. Why does he want to jump headstart into a relationship out of the blue when he has never done so before?
     
  2. BiKate

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    That sucks. Doesn't sound like there's anything wrong with you though, he just saw you as a friend. And probably knew you for too long without anything happening. I can't really imagine dating anybody I know, once I've known somebody for a certain amount of time with nothing happening, I won't really find interest in them as a potential partner.
    It sounds like he still likes you as a friend. There's nothing wrong with you.

    Just try to let go now and leave it. He isn't interested in taking it further so don't waste your time wishing he would change. You deserve somebody who jumps at the chance to date you!! (Not saying your crush is a bad guy... just the wrong guy)
     
  3. A Lone Wanderer

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    You're probably right. This whole thing really was quite silly.
     
  4. nothing is wrong with you. some people just like people and don't like others. you may have dodged a bullet. just because you have a crush on someone doesn't mean they are good for you. he is chasing every gay guy in town. maybe if you got with him he would have kept chasing and dumped you. then you would feel even more like crap. just know that you are good enough. nothing is wrong with you. and a great guy that is worth being with you will like you.
     
  5. clittle63

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    I think that the common between is nothing and that is what makes a relationship grow
     
  6. BiKate

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    I know how you feel, I've had a few crushes that seem to like me as a friend yet are interested in everybody else except me. It sucks but you'll be happy this happened when you meet the right guy :slight_smile: