Okay, so I'm 18 and only about a year and a half ago started to explore my sexuality with regards to guys. After about 6 months spent on a few different sites, trying and failing to find a guy i made a connection with, I met a guy that was different. his profile came up and i read over his details, his profile said he was straight and this first led me to wonder if it was a mistake, and he shouldn't have shown up on my page or it was an error or something. I messaged him anyway and we immediately got on really well. Straight away I thought he didn't seem as arrogant as some of the guys i spoke to. He was really down to earth and we had a lot in common. We both shared interests in gaming and technology and were studding similar courses at college. We played a few online games together and got on well. I brought up the 'straight' thing on his profile and he said he was bi-curious. this only strengthened our bond as i felt i could relate to him more. we both sort of struggle with girls and were both lonely and wanted not to be alone. We then decided we wanted to meet. We talked about sex and both wanted to experiment with our sexuality. We decided to meet up in a few days. However he cancelled our plans, with some silly excuse, so we decided to meet again to discuss video games. We did. nothing happened but I did think about making a move on him, but I didn't want to force something on him as I could tell he wasn't as okay with it as i was based on his cold feet before and our conversations online. a few weeks later he told me he wasn't into guys any more and was desperate and really lonely, and he had found a girlfriend. We drifted apart since then but recently I messaged him and we started talking again, played a few games together and started talking a lot. I asked about his love-life. we both joked about how hopeless we were with girls, and he asked if we'd have been dating if we had explored with each other. I responded by telling him i wasn't sure, I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship with a guy or not. He ended up telling me he still wanted to explore his sexuality and try things with a guy. I suggested we should meet over summer and see how it goes, he said he'd think about it and seemed like he wanted to try it. We spoke again a few days later about the subject and he said he wasn't sure. I don't know what to do, I know he is curious and wants to try stuff, and i think we both feel comfortable with each other. he says he doesn't know if this is who he is, or how he would feel about doing sexual things with another guy. I appreciate that he feels that way, but surely he does want to do stuff, and it is who he is, otherwise we'd not have spoke about it at all. How can I help him to accept he is curious (or bi, or whatever he is), I really like him, and we can both end our loneliness, and at least try and be together. I need to help him accept that it's okay to be attracted to guys if he feels that way. i don't understand how he can change his mind. One moment he says he likes me, the next he can't understand how he can be with a guy and 'live with it', help?? Thank you
It seems like this guy is in a bit of a denial phase. I think the best thing to do in these situations is to give him time, so he can figure everything out. You can also try to talk him, tell him everything you wrote here, maybe he'll open up to you more then. But be sure not to force anything. Goodluck x
Thanks for the advice! I have left him for a few days as I don't want to keep annoying him with it. I just find it hard to cope with the 'hot and cold' sort of attitude, I will try talking to him and explain the things I've said here, we're both trying to find ourselves I guess but are in different stages. I don't want to give up on him though
