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Not caring what people think

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by Jax12, Jul 17, 2015.

  1. Jax12

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    I'm seeing a guy right now and he is AWESOME. Only problem is that when it comes to hugs and stuff in public, I still got the social anxiety piece screwing with me.

    So how do I not give a shit about what people think? I feel that this is a habit that I've developed aside from sexual orientation issues.
     
  2. hey bro, it takes a lot of courage. we still live in a world where there are some ignorant people that can and do physically gay bash people. so sometimes its not safe to show public displays of affection. my only advice is to let your guy know how you feel and hopefully he will understand. you can try and force yourself to kiss and hug but if that's not what you like, then you should not force yourself to do something you are not into.
     
  3. Really

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    Hiya,

    I'm guessing you're ok in private, right? What if you told him you've got some anxiety about PDA but would like to work through it. And as a way to try, you'd like him to help you with some role play. You could stand in your living room and have him describe increasingly public situations. So, first off, he would describe a scenario where you're at the door hugging him to say good bye while neighbours may or may not be watching. Next, your standing at a bus stop and when his bus comes, you hug in front of whoever is also waiting. Then maybe he's waiting in the park and you arrive and hug him in greeting.

    He can make up whatever crazy scenarios he likes and as you get more and more relaxed about the idea, you could go back to the first scenario and start actually doing them in public.

    Just a thought. Good luck!
     
  4. Jax12

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    ^ Yeah I'm fine in private, but it's kind of like a involuntary response. Even when I was dating a girl I wasn't comfortable with displaying PDA either.

    I appreciate the responses, scenarios sounds like a great idea.
     
  5. fern96

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    Expressing fondness for people in front of others is something a lot of people find uncomfortable, so don't panic! It's rational to be nervous about showing affection for your partner in this homophobic society, too.

    That being said, you ideally want to not feel nervous at all. We are creatures of habit, so honestly, the best thing to do is to simply get into the habit of being affectionate with your partner. When you want to hold his hand, push yourself inside and do it. You'll probably be nervous and terrified, but the novelty and unfamiliarity of it will wear off and you'll become more accustomed to it and ready to attempt to be more affectionate with your partner. This is just my opinion. I just have to force myself to do things sometimes.