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is this girl gay or I am overly paranoid?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by lemons123, Jul 18, 2015.

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  1. lemons123

    lemons123
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    Basically...a girl I like a lot:

    She is 22
    Single
    We met 2 times, the second time talked for hours and also exchanged couple of messages, plus I've been following her instagram to get as much info on her as possible.

    Now, here are the "gay" things that slightly make me thing she is lesbian:

    - On her instagram has one picture with her friend on February 14th, calling her friend "my valentines date".
    - She is very beautiful and single? Perhaps still in the closet?
    - While we were talking I notice her calling her friend over the phone "love of my life", "my love" etc. Though she used the same words to more than one girl, I am sure.
    - Again on her instagram she is following this page:
    https://instagram.com/vitacouture/
    ^ source of inspiration or just source for her getting turned on?

    However, there are many reasons to think she is straight or bi, but mostly totally straight it seems. I will tell more about that later.

    Yeah, sorry if this is too boring and long and thnx :slight_smile:.
     
    #1 lemons123, Jul 18, 2015
  2. CodeForLife

    CodeForLife
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    Location:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Disclaimer: I'm definitely not an expert. :wink:

    But, based on all of the intel you've gathered, nothing there seems to imply to me that she isn't straight. It could be argued either way, but I would guess straight with all the info you've given.

    - If she didn't have a date, maybe she was introverted like me, and just went out with friends?
    - Maybe introvert? Maybe saving herself for marriage? Maybe still lives with parents?
    - Calling people "love" could be used with friends, family, and anyone you're comfortable/friendly talking with. This could also just be a phase since that might be a popular term these days.
    - These are kind of fashion-oriented but still sensual pics. Maybe she is interested in that style for her or the casual/relaxed look of the photos. Maybe she appreciates the female body.

    Granted, all of these, like you mention, could be argued that she is bi or gay, but I don't think you have any evidence to suggest that without a shadow of a doubt.
     
    #2 CodeForLife, Jul 18, 2015
  3. lemons123

    lemons123
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    Thanks, CodeForLife. Very elaborate answer.

    Hmm...by the way: "I tell people I'm straight"? :frowning2: How is your coming out going on? Sorry if this is too dumb question, I am just trying to be helpful and return the favour of your message :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:.

    One more thing about that girl though:

    She seems to be a model, or what she told me "aspiring model". Her best male friend is gay by the way, she told me so and told me about his boyfriends etc.
    So, my point is that as a girl interested in fashion she could be following semi-nude girls on IG as source of ideas for "poses", fashion?

    And finally: She doesn't pass my gaydar, way of talking and body language seem more like a "shy nun" rather than someone more open-minded...idk.

    I could be meeting her in August in Greece though. She is going there for a week and invited me since I am also from Europe and actually live pretty close to Greece so I have no excuse to reject the offer. Not sure what's gonna happen there either...
     
    #3 lemons123, Jul 18, 2015
  4. CodeForLife

    CodeForLife
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    Location:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    No problem at all :slight_smile: Just trying to help out!

    Well, in terms of online, I am far more comfortable talking about it rather than denying it to myself before. However, in the real world, nope, I haven't taken any actions towards getting closer to coming out yet. I'm thinking of trying out a meetup for LGBT folks just for fun to see how that goes. Maybe that will make things easier offline. We'll see.

    You're exactly right. If she is an aspiring model, then she will definitely be interested to see what poses are flattering and how "sex sells" so to speak. Getting these poses right and to seem natural is a pretty big step in modeling.

    Nice... :lol: You have a gaydar :wink:? Yeah from what you've said, it sounds like shyness might play a part in her personality. I'm sure she'll have to overcome this to be a successful model though.

    Well, if she is interested in meeting you and you both find each other attractive, those are more signs for being straight, to be honest. :slight_smile: Hope it all goes well! :thumbsup:
     
    #4 CodeForLife, Jul 18, 2015
  5. lemons123

    lemons123
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    Thanks...

    About the coming-out again...just a few thoughts:

    It seems that coming out to the closest friends is the best idea. I mean...I am straight but the first guy I've been with (just experimenting...) was when I was 17/18 then later he told his girlfriend about us doing "some things" and she actually accepted it and even was turned on it seemed. But my point is: she was his closest friend and among my best friends...

    So yeah: try first coming out to your best friends or closest relative you can trust.

    Just my $0.02.

    About the girl:

    Yes, will wait and see. Though I also have reasons to believe she is having some feelings towards a guy she knows. I've never met this guy but from what I gather he sounds like a serious competition. Time will tell :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:.
     
    #5 lemons123, Jul 19, 2015
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