My name is Tommy, I'm 16, and I'm gay. Now that's out of the way, my main issue is telling the people I know and love that I'm gay. They're a very religious family and just believe that a man must be manly. I'm so not manly that it hurts, and I can't help but think that I'll be shunned because of who i love. It makes me sad just thinking about it. Anyone who has gone through a situation like this, please respond
well when i came out i was 11 and i also have a religious family and they are homophobic when i told them i was gay they didnt believe me:tears:and said i was seeking attention even though i knew since i was 5 my advice is to bring up gay people like about the whole gay marriage thing and see their reaction and see if its right to tell them the only accepting support i have is the people at school i been sent to a priest to get cure by my gayness :dead: i suggest come out to friends first then family if you can. you can message me so i can help you with the coming out process and your worried about being manly? in all honestly boys that arnt manly are so much fun to hang around then manly people im being honest at school i been told im probably straight cause im lesbian and girly :dry: supposely i guess lesbians need to be manly but i say FUCK THAT i want to be myself you should do the same cause you might think being manly is super awesome but you know whats also awssome? YOU
Do you have any friends or extended family that are more supportive? Remember "being manly" (masculinity) does not have to do with sexuality, and there are many gay guys who are very masculine or not masculine at all. Try not to feel sad because it's not your fault your family has accepted what religious conservatives have told them is right or wrong. Also, it's kind of a catch-22 that many straight people are not accepting until they know someone close (like family/friends) who is gay and realize they aren't that different. A lot of bigotry comes down to ignorance. It's always best if you can come out when you are comfortable, so try to get a support group around you to help. It takes time, and you can definitely keep talking to us on this forum. Your school may help also by having a gay-straight alliance (GSA) club, and you should look forward to graduation and going to college where you can really get some space to be more open about your sexuality.
I've come out to one of my best friends, and she's been very supportive of me. I know that all of my other friends are very pro gay, I just haven't told them because I want to wait. And the thing about being manly, I know I'm not manly, and I love that I'm not, cause I'm not a dick. I really like me, but I hate when people don't like me just cause I don't act like how they think a man should act
That's great your friend is supportive! It's hard, but you have to just accept some people are going to be judgmental, and it is their loss if they think "manliness" is required from you. IMO, such people are also often patronizing toward women or downright misogynists, nothing to be proud. Just keep your head high and do what you want. As long as you're not harming anyone, you should be able to live your life as you want it.
