Have you guys ever been in an environment where a group of guys especially strangers are saying really anti gay stuff and you feel really out of place and anxious?
Yeah, this has happened at work amongst my managers which is appalling IMO. It's a pretty horrible thing to hear, but those people are not worth getting upset for.
yes, i had a "friend" like this and i eventually have to cut him off. i never told him why but he was toxic in that regard. as far as other straight guys, it's been a while since i have heard them bash gays but i have been around many that do the "ewwww" sound or something like that when the gay thing comes up. my advice is that you do not have to be around people like that and you can just remove yourself from the situation. you can also defend gays and challenge their thoughts but you will have to be ready for the "you must be gay" comments since these people are already ignorant, they will certainly associate any defense of homophobia with you being gay.
Almost two years ago after I started recovering from major depression following two deaths that really affected me and led to my finally accepting being gay, I was at an amusement park with my kids and my then brother-in-law and his kids. Coincidentally, the day we were there was scheduled to be the "gay day" that evening for a private charity event. So of course there were a larger-than-usual contingent of gay and gay-supporting people in the crowds. After we had been at the park for a few hours he started making snarky comments about some of the more flamboyant guys which I brushed off, but then he started making comments along the lines we better be careful or "they" will make a move on us. I was appalled and told him that was really out of line, and I just walked off. He dropped it after that. Less than six months later I came out to my wife and have only spoken to her mother twice since then and her father once (all within about a month or two after coming out), no other ex-in laws.
Yea...I have a large friend group that is very close the only problem is that four of use are gay and the other five are super religious always making fun of gay people.
yea, i'm constantly surrounded by it, at work. they always have this short of narrow minded way about how gays are. they go as far as saying" i'll never have that dick up my ass, i don't see the appeal of that shit." I've heard some real nasty stuff about it, which keeps me cut off personally from them. by the end of the day, they're not people i'll go to lengths for. they can run their mouths all they want, but i'm just not going to respect them the way that they would want to be. i'll be cordial but not enough to be leveled with them. don't make the hate worse as it is. i've been really anxious and angry about it, but the more i got used to the situation, the more level headed i became and asked myself if it was worth it.
Definitely, at school? when I was still in my confused stage, most of my associates were homophobic, and the fact of me genuinely liking girls as well didn't help it, I felt awkward from then on out. My parents are homophobic as well which I just made a post about not too long ago. In my environment, girls kind of get a free pass to be lesbians, it was literally a whole coming out show of girls claiming to be bisexual or lesbian. You could catch couples at my old school kissing, but wouldn't dare see two guys. I'm in the south...so that makes it even worst.
Right now, this is my life. In college I could find a good number of people who weren't, but now that I'm home it's everywhere. Occasionally it happens with my family, but most often it's at the Souther Baptist church we attend. Even though I love my family, I really want to move out as soon as I can.
