Hi Everyone, This is one of my first posts on here so hope its in the right place. So basically I was in a relationship with a girl I knew. I had thought it was fine and probably was actively ignoring any questions to think otherwise. I was planning to move interstate about 10 hours drive away and knew I couldn't do this any longer so I broke it off. I felt really sad and lost we had spent so much time together and had similar personalities. I have had an inkling I might be gay but after the end of this relationship I feel like it is much more real not just my imagination if that makes sense. Anyways, so now I am here week 3 of the breakup and I can't stand no being able to talk or tell anyone about it. All my friends in other state knew her and would support what she is going through. I have only just met people at work and think its a bit heavy to put that on them. To complicate matters my ex and I were good friends for about 5 years before and we did heaps together and loved each others company. As a result my ex said after the relationship and a break (whatever that means) she really wanted us to stay friends. She said she couldn't stand losing another friend as a result of a breakup. My brain is totally swimming with all these things. I feel so bad for what has happened and feel as punishment I should probably never see or talk to her again. Not having facebook has made the stopping of communication easier I guess. Would become friends ever even be possible? I mean as a result I would need to come out to her probably before I asked anything else. I feel like it would probably be too much even after 6 or 12 months for there to be any chance to stay friends. No exactly sure what I'm asking here but maybe one questions is: when you moved to a new state and don't know anyone after the breakup, how do you rationalise your thoughts? My brain feel like a continuous tug of war at the moment of what to do and what it means for the future. Totally not used to being emotive and non-rational... Hope that makes sense and thanks for having a safe space to actually write something. CS65
yes. this happened to me. its lonely because you have spent so much time with your girlfriend and had such a good time. now you are alone and single and questioning if you are gay and the relationship you had with the girlfriend seemed like a safety net that has been pulled away. you long for stability that you had with her and friendship because being alone sucks and being alone and questioning if you're gay sucks worse, and not having any friends sucks majorly. so here's what i would suggest you do. consider this a new adventure! when this happened to me, i made the mistake of starting in my new place as "straight" when i should have taken this chance as a way to explore being gay and coming out to people who had no clue who i was. but since straight was all i knew, i started joining clubs and groups that were straight and i should have been using this as a chance to start off fresh and new and explore clubs and groups that were gay. because if you do not, you will have to come out all over again to the new people you just met. you are single. you have no girlfriend. consider this a time to explore who you really are. this does not mean sex but try diff activities where you can meet others that may be gay or bi and see how you fit in and see what types of attractions come or don't come. do not waste your time or years.
Thankyou so much for this. I had been speaking to someone else who just suggested that. I am still nervous but I've had a look and a couple of groups in my local area do things I really enjoy. Maybe next week I will go along . Its just nice to have someone to talk to even and get advice. Its also amazing knowing someone else has been in a similar situation. Your all so supportive! I do like joining groups and maybe its not so bad. Hopefully I get the courage to go along soon. CS65
