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Mom won't acknowledge me being lesbian?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by xdarlingx, Jul 21, 2015.

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  1. xdarlingx

    xdarlingx
    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Some of my family is accepting of the fact that I am lesbian, but my mom is another story. I can't even talk to her about girls because she ends up yelling at me and telling me she doesn't want to talk about "heavy subjects". Also, she refuses to acknowledge that I like girls. She will say things like "when you get a guy" or "the man you will marry". I keep correcting her but it does nothing and trying to calmly ask her to say girlfriend, girl, etc, just results in a fight. I know who I am, I don't need anyone's approval, it's just annoying that she will not acknowledge it. What do I do?
     
    #1 xdarlingx, Jul 21, 2015
  2. YinYang

    YinYang
    Regular Member

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    Sadly, I don't think there is much you can do. Your mom just needs to come to terms with who you are. Maybe you could write her a letter saying that you don't want to fight and that she needs to stop yelling at you whenever you mention your sexuality. Just keep trying and don't yell at her; that will only make it worse. Good luck.
     
    #2 YinYang, Jul 21, 2015
  3. xdarlingx

    xdarlingx
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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    That's true. I guess she'll accept it in time.
     
    #3 xdarlingx, Jul 21, 2015
  4. resu

    resu
    Advisor Full Member

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    Location:
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    Gender:
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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    How old are you? I know I had one bi friend who only came out once she had a girlfriend. At that point, it's pretty hard to argue this is some type of phase, lol. But, you should realize that your mom doesn't define your life or who you love. If she is constantly getting upset, you may have to distance yourself.
     
    #4 resu, Jul 21, 2015
  5. Jax12

    Jax12
    Full Member

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    Location:
    Canada
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    My parents are also having a hard time to accept that I'm mostly gay, but it took me a year to finally accept myself for who I am, and so I predict it will be at least a year for them to finally be okay with who I am. In addition, they're highly religious so they claim I could choose not to act on my actions and whatnot.

    But regardless, my parents have expressed their love for me that if this who I am, they still love me. Accepting that I'm gay is just something that will take time. I hope your mom can do the same. If there's a lot of negativity, it may be wise to distance yourself from her for a bit, and allow her time to take it in.
     
    #5 Jax12, Jul 21, 2015
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