My best friend tolf me yesterday that she thinks we would both be better off not speaking to each other. I told her i dont agree but I will respect the decision she made. Thing is about a month ago I told her that i had feelings for her. She said she didn't feel the same way and I unserstood. It hasn't been an issue since. We do argue a bicker quite a bit but nothing that would end a friendship. She said that friendships shouldn't be this hard. I didn't fight her on it not because sge isn't worth fighting for but because we have already done a lot of fighting. It is so hard for me. While i would love to contact her I told her that i would respect her wishes and keep my distance. She said I could talk to her anytime but I dont understand that it is as if she is giving me permission to speak to her. If I can talk to her anytime why arw we not friends. So confused and i don't care for the argument that will happen if i try to be clear with her about what she is saying. All i know is that it hurts a lot because I feel like she rejected twice.
I know that must be really sad, and I don't get that you can still talk whenever if you're not friends? If you want, you can be my friend instead!
It'll if you could give us an idea if what the arguments are about. So I'd have an idea of what I could say to help.
When she said she didn't feel like speaking to you, how did she word it exactly? You said she said she doesn't want to speak to you, but then she went and told you you could contact anytime. Definitely mixed signals there... I'm sorry you are going through this right now.
Awww@TheJackC. Thanks for the offer. @Chromedome we argue about everything. It's really ridiculous. We've known each other for over 10 years. I tell her all the time that she isn't as supportive of me as I am of her. She has in fact agreed that is the case on many occasions. When I decide to not get as involved with her because she doesn't put out the effort that i put into the friendship it always turns into a big argument. She said that we just can't seem to get it right and friendship shouldn't be this hard. I told her she should do whatever will make her happy and I will respect it. I'm not sure how telling me that she doesn't want to talk and I can talk to her anytime makes sense. She is really confusing. I have decided I will not be contacting her. I am open to us talking again but she has to make the effort. When she said she was finished with me i told her I loved her. Gave her a hug and wished her all the best. At that point she said that me saying i loved her made her want to take everything back. I didn't respond. I left it at that and kept it moving.
I get the idea that she changes her mind to much for you, and you have trouble common ground to base the relationship on.
it sounds like she is saying if you are going through something major, ill be there to listen/help but i can't deal with you on a day to day basis and can only take you in doses. personally you have done all you can do. she told you not to speak with her (meaning regularly and only if theres an emergency), so just back off. if she wants to reach out she can and you can decide if you want her friendship again.
