I recently hooked up with my straight best friend. I've never had feelings for him and don't even find him very attractive. I had just come out to him a few days earlier when he asked me to spend the night at his house. I was happy he asked because i was scared that coming out to him would keep him from wanting to be friends anymore. While at his house he started to act more sexual around me than ever before and despite never liking him or finding him attractive I went along with it. I've never been with someone sexually before and so I guess the excitement swept me up in the moment. It only led to me giving him a blowjob and then we finished. We didn't kiss and he didn't even touch me. I was disappointed but glad it was over. After leaving his house really early the next morning I felt sick to my stomach and used, especially since I didn't get anything from it. I even began to cry and wished I could run away. I was also confused because before he told me he was definitely straight and just felt like experimenting. Thankfully he hasn't made it weird or awkward. In fact he keeps texting me like usual and even wants me to go with him to Hawaii next year. I don't think he has feelings for me and I told him before that I didn't have feelings for him. But if everything seems okay, then why do I still feel sick about it? I wish i could just erase the night from existence.
Maybe he was lonely or maybe he just thought that he wanted to try out something with a guy, but he definitely trusts you. Lots of (straight guy) friends do some sexual stuff together sometimes so you don't have to worry too much about it.
I'm so sorry you went through this and that it wasn't good for you. It sounds like you regretted it and felt used. If you still feel bad about it, I would recommend taking a break from talking to him, although you don't have to end the friendship. Just a break.
Thanks guys! After a few days I feel a lot better. I was probably overreacting a little but I've gotten more and more over it. But now he's invited me to his house while his parents are gone. Idk if I should go. I want to talk but I'm worried he's going to try something again. I really don't want to feel this regret again. Should I go? Or give us a break?
I'm sorry you went through with it and it wasn't a good first sexual experience. Glad to see you're feeling a lot better now. If you're worried he's going to try something again maybe you should just talk to him about it, you don't have to put yourself through that again.
I think you should ask yourself if you really want to develope a relationship with him. If the answer is NO, then you should turn down any sexual request from him, otherwise you would feel the same regret again and put the friendship in danger.
I'm not so sure he's straight. Yes, it's possible he's "experimenting" or whatever but I don't think he'd be inviting you over again when no one's home unless he wanted to try something. I think it's possible that he's closeted, or perhaps he is just coming to terms with the possiblity that he might be gay himself (in which case, he may not even have gotten past his own denial stage.) And of course, it's also possible that he's straight and just wants a blowjob from anywhere he can get it. But most straight teen guys (I'm assuming he's a teen) wouldn't initiate sex with a gay guy unless they were questioning a little. One of the important considerations here is what you want and how you feel. There's nothing wrong with hooking up, but there's a lot wrong with someone manipulating you and using you, especially when there's no reciprocity. So really, I'd say that you need to think about what you want, and then set your boundaries accordingly. You could simply not put yourself in the position of being alone with him, which solves the problem of his putting the moves on you. Or you could have a nonjudgmental conversation saying, in effect, "Look, it doesn't matter to me if you're gay or straight, and I don't mind doing sexual things and I don't label what we're doing as gay. But if we're going to do this, it needs to be reciprocal, because I need my needs met also." It's possible if you give him a chance that he might open up and be a little more flexible. The last caveat is... as you've already alluded to... you have to think carefully about this boundary. Any time you cross the boundary from a friendship into sexual experiences, it changes the friendship. If you continue, it will change the friendship more, and there's the possiblity that he will at some point freak out, decide he can't deal with it (if he finds himself enjoying it too much) and completely pull away... and then you could lose the friendship entirely. On the other hand, there's also the possiblity he could start to understand himself (if, in fact, he's got feelings for guys) and it could blossom into something. This is a very complicated situation and there aren't any clear rights or wrongs.
Perhaps the question you should be asking yourself is are you okay with casual sex, because that is all your friend seems to be offering. If you thought your first sexual encounters/s would be more than just that, you need to speak to your friend about how you feel and what you are searching for, and see if this intersects with what your friend is looking for.
