Finally in love... but definitely out of luck.

I came out as bisexual to myself and my closest friends about a year ago, and since then, I've noticed my attraction to girls has increased. I've only had one girlfriend (we have long since broken up, however), but have started having feelings for someone else that I met not long after my previous girlfriend and I started dating (I am a girl btw).

Towards the end of my previous relationship, I began to experience some problems at home with my parents that caused my mind to venture towards a very dark, deep depression. I stopped eating, stopped sleeping, and just wasn't myself... My girlfriend did nothing in an attempt to see what was wrong with me, so I broke it off because I simply did not have the energy to keep up with a relationship and a person who wasn't proactive in trying to support me. This is where my feelings for said other person come in... We were really close friends before. We met each other around the time said friend was dealing with an anxiety of numerous magnitude that caused her to be very sick. I supported her through it because I could sympathize with the way she felt, and in turn, she aided me as I went through my depression... She even stopped me from doing something that I wouldn't have ever been able to come back from.

Somewhere along the line, she and I got closer than friends... We started feeling very, very strongly for each other, and now we're pretty sure we're in love. It's an awesome feeling to be in love, finally, especially after such a long time of hardship for the both of us... but we have a problem. Both of our parents are homophobic. We'd lose everything if they knew how we felt. Our families would abandon us and we'd never see them again, and I can't ask her to abandon what little family she has left alive. However, at the same time, its painful trying to live a lie and pretend like our feelings aren't there. I want to be with her and around her all the time, and I get jealous so easily when she has to go out on dates with boys she doesn't even like just so her parents don't get suspicious... I've never felt this way about anyone before... I want her all to myself, and the thought of anyone else being with her or touching her pisses me off.

She wants the same thing as me. We want to be together. In the times where we are alone, we pretend like we are together, and those are some of the happiest moments I have in memory... I just... I guess I don't even know what I'm asking for here. This situation is complicated, and I don't know what to do....

 

Thank you for your advice. I suppose time will really tell what the right choice will be, but for now, I am forced to keep it a secret. I am entering college, so I can't say anything for fear of my parents ripping their financial support from me. They have the power to take a way my car, as well as any other money they might have given me otherwise... I suppose I will just have to wait and see where time takes us, and ensure that I /can/ sustain the backlash should it arise.

But, again, only time will tell... I just hope my beloved doesn't have to be with someone else during that time in order to hide our secret.