I've seen there's already a million threads just like this one, so I know I'm not alone. Not really sure why I'm posting here, I guess I'm hoping someone has a magic pill they can give me to make my friend gay. I am 100% in love with my best friend, who I have no reason to believe isn't straight. I've known him for 8 years now, and we've been best friends for probably 4 years. We play sport together, coach sport together, and he works for me in my sports coaching business. Basically, I see him about 6 days a week. I've only accepted myself as gay and come out to family and close friends (including him) about a fortnight ago. Since that time, since I'm no longer trying to suppress my gay feelings, I've realised just how strong my love for him is. He is absolutely perfect. We have all the same hobbies, we have absolutely all the same views on morals and life and on people and on how to treat people and what success is and anything to do with life views/philosophy, both wants kids and have basically identical views on how to raise kids, have the same sense of humour, never get sick of one another, always know what the other one is thinking. Not to mention that as far as I'm concerned he is the hottest dude going around, I love every part of him - his face, his body, his skin, absolutely everything. And the fact that he has been 100% cool with me being gay (hasn't changed the way he's treated me at all), has made me love him even more I think. Life would be so simple. I'm just about to buy a house, he'd move in, we'd play basketball together, go to coaching together, run my coaching business together, and my god I want to make love to him (not just sex, but make LOVE) more than anything else right now. It's not just a crush, I've had them. I would marry him today if he asked me. I really don't know how I can deal with it. I can't possibly tell him. But I really find it hard even being around him. Every time I see him, my heart lights up, I feel that PING of being in love, and I just wanna give him hug and a kiss, but then I have to settle for a high-five. If anyone has any gay pills they can share with me for him, please do.
With respect, I think you should not wallow in vain hopes about this straight guy. He may seem to be perfect, but trust me.. no one is. I understand that you want him.. but do you really want someone who doesn't want you back? Regardless of how attractive he is, there is nothing attractive about one-sided desire. Perhaps you should love yourself first and foremost, before anyone else. You don't need anyone to enjoy yourself, least of all a straight guy who is incapable of reciprocating your affections. Keep an open mind for better prospects. Who knows what the future holds?
How did you go about telling your best mate and your other friends and family? You didn't say how old you were but if you have your own business I'm guessing you're in your mid twenties at least? How did people react when you told them? Were they shocked? I'm going through something very similar to you except none of my friends or fsmily know... especially my best mate... I'm petrified to tell anyone and I know if I do they will be gobsmacked... As for your question I can't offer any advice sorry. You've already acomplished the hard part of telling everyone... I'm sure if your mate felt the same he will let you know eventually...
Hey mate, A little bit younger, I am 23, almost 24. So it's been a month now since I accepted I was gay and then came out to my immediate family. I can tell you that the last month has been by FAR (not even close) the happiest of my life. (!) So far I have only told my family, extended family, and my 2 closest friends. But going to "go public" (explain why below) very soon. If you search for other posts by me you can read my coming out letter to my sister and see that I was in a pretty messed up place for a long time. The change emotionally since then has been amazing. My relationship with my parents has become so much stronger because I am no longer emotionally closing myself off. What I found, and what I think you'll find is this - the people who love you, if it means that you can be happy, will be happy for you. Now I've been extremely lucky in that all of the people I've told so far, none of them are even 1% homophobic, so the ONLY emotions they had for me when I told them was pure happiness for me, about the fact that I was going to be happier. If the people you tell aren't quite as accepting, it might take them a little time to come around. The reason I'll be coming out publicly soon is that I have started dating an amazing guy! And want the world to see him and us together And the feelings I have for this guy have basically confirmed for me that everything I wrote in my initial post here about not being able to love anyone else was incorrect Didn't take too long!
