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Does he like me, or doesn't he?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends, and Relationships' started by coolbiguy98, Jul 25, 2015.

  1. coolbiguy98

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    Hey there. My name is Rylan and I'm bi (not out). I'm going through a confusing situation at the moment and would like any advice I can get tbh. So, about 4 months ago I met a guy online through mutual friends... let's call him 'Jake'. I'm not sure what Jake is - gay, bi... or 'straight' and having me on?! I'll put the whole story in chronological order so you can get a better understanding of what's happening. Like I said, it started about 4 months ago when I added him on Facebook... he was attractive and had mutual friends so I though, why not? He accepted.. after that a few weeks had passed and he didn't make any contact, then I seen that he sent me a friend request on Snap-chat, I accepted obviously... after that we had short conversations about school etc, nothing too personal. We would talk like this every couple of weeks or so, pointless boring conversations... until 2 months ago when he said he wanted to meet me; I wasn't really keen on meeting him because of my self image, so I didn't go through with it... still kept the small talk going though. He sent me a few shirtless pics which he didn't post to his story, so I'm guessing he sent them to me singularly? or I was atleast one of a select few. Now, more recently... about 2 weeks ago, I came across him on ******... I didn't have anything too lose so I decided to 'like' him... we instantly got matched (So he must have pressed 'like' on me too). I deleted my ****** account shortly after to clear room on my phone so that didn't go anywhere and I haven't mentioned it to him.. Now, finally... a few days ago there was a massive festival event in my city (everyone in my age range went). While I was at this event, I got a snapchat from him... it was a picture of me from afar and he circled me saying he saw me... Later on in that night I saw him, and infact ended up standing next to him... However, neither of us said a word to each other. He dissapeared soon after and I didn't see him for the rest of the night... When I got home he messaged me asking me if I had enjoyed myself, we then spoke about what we liked about the event. When we were messaging it was late so I told him I had to go to bed, and that if he wanted too then I would message him in the morning, he seemed eager for me to message him in the morning and even told me not too forget.... but then as I said goodnight to him, he replied with a kissy emoticon and a sweating emoticon... now I'm not exactly a genius in emoticons but I'm pretty sure that means he wanted to send the kissy face but was hesitant about my reaction? I replied with a kissy face back to which he replied with another one... after that I went to bed. When I messaged him in the morning he seemed cold towards me, using no emotions and bluntly talking... even took him up to 5 hours to reply. I'm really confused?! Last night he was sending me kissy emoticons and now he won't even give me a decent conversation?? I don't know how to take him, I don't even know if he's gay, or bi? He could be straight for all I know and doing this as a sick joke to try and publicly out me? I really can't take this because I've started to like him, and he's messing with my head. Tomorrow I'm thinking about texting him asking him if he "want's to meet up sometime soon", is this a good idea? I just want your opinions on this situation. He's 16 and I'm 17 (in my opinion, I'm quite masculine and he seems a tad femenine, if that matters). Thanks, Ry.
     
  2. Spartan 117

    Admin Team Full Member

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    Hey there Rylan,

    Welcome to the forum! :slight_smile: Hmm, we get a lot of these "What is he thinking?" threads, and it's always difficult to answer. We can't say for sure about his sexuality, because people are generally quite private about that sort of thing - as you know! It's rare that anyone comes with a big flashing sign over their head saying "I'm BI!" :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: though that would be really helpful!

    All I can give you is my best guess based on the information you provided. :slight_smile: I'd say that this guy is interested in you. This whole "letting you know they're there but not having the courage to speak to you" thing is extremely creepy but quite common in teenagers :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: . The fact that you found him on a dating app (I'm guessing it's a dating app, as EmptyClosets has automatically censored it - naming 18+ dating websites/apps isn't allowed here) makes me think that he probably is gay or bisexual to some degree. Plus, in my experience, 100% "straight" guys don't often send 'kissy faces' before bed!

    As for your theory that this might all be a sick joke and that he's messing with you, I really can't say for sure. That'd be a pretty horrible thing to do. You know him better than we do, so you might be in a better place to judge his intentions.

    If I could guess at his intentions, I think he sounds like a bit of a flirt. The fact he gives out his snapchat and sends (presumably a few) people shirtless pictures of himself makes me think he is naturally a little flirtatious. As for reading into his text messages and if they're 'cold' or not... I tend not to do that. I know I can come across as abrupt sometimes when I'm just busy.

    So, should you text him to meet up? That's ultimately up to you but I would err on the side of caution. The reason I say to be careful is that the very fact you even considered he might be doing it all to mess with you makes me think you don't trust his intentions completely. That's not a great start for a relationship. I like to know a lot about anyone I agree to meet up with - and he still sounds like a bit of a mystery to you. I think it's good to have something deeper than just random pictures and emoticons to go on before you agree to go further. Still, it is your decision - you know him best! :slight_smile:

    Remember, if you do meet up with anyone - please do so in a public place, and tell someone where you are. It's always important to be safe, even if you think you 'know' the person.
     
  3. coolbiguy98

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    Hey Glenn! Thanks for your reply.

    In the past 24 hours he's sent me 3 shirtless pictures, and we've spoken a little more... Still blunt and nothing groundbreaking. I sent him a Snap-chat about half hour ago asking him if we could meet soon... no reply as of yet and I'm nervous awaiting a reply.

    I've taken into consideration everything you have advised me about, and am confident now that he is not out too "Publicly out me" like I previously though. I'm also pretty confident he isn't 'straight'.

    However, I've decided (mainly for my own sanity) that if he doesn't reply to me... or if he continues this bluntly and doesn't want to meet up that I'm not going to make the effort with him anymore; I won't message him (I'll reply, of course) first and won't ask him if he wants to meet up anymore.

    The past few days have made me feel *Depressed* because I've started to really like him, and all he is doing is making me feel like he doesn't even care about me. I can't take much more of it, so like I said, I'm gonna see what he replies, and if it's not good then I'm going to save myself the pain and stress.

    Thanks once again for your advice, Ry! :slight_smile:
     
  4. coolbiguy98

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    *UPDATE*
    He has replied to me, he said he wants too meet up and we're just discussing meetup options now... I'm actually feeling great.